Wizard's Blessing on this Beautiful World
by SinghSong
Summary: Without time travel shenanigans to save them, Harry and Hermione get killed by the Dementors, and find themselves in a very different Afterlife. Offered the chance to be reborn in a different world by Aqua, the two accept the offer. Will Harry Potter succeed in defeating the Devil King? Or will the difficulties of trying to manage his party of misfits be too much for him to handle?
1. Blessed With a Second Chance

**Chapter 1: Blessed With a Second Chance**

Harry floated in the darkness. Floating, floating, with nothing around him but empty nothingness… Then, after Merlin only knew how long, he was somewhere again, with new, completely unknown and unfamiliar surroundings flickering into being. Perplexed, Harry looked around, trying to make sense of this place he'd found himself cast into. He was sitting in a dark brown wooden chair, with a red cushion behind his back. And a few feet in front of him, he could see another chair, standing there empty. A white one, of a far more elaborate design, reminding him a bit of Dumbledore's chair at the top of the Teacher's Table in the Great Hall. Beside it, there was a small desk, completely free of clutter aside from a single book, planted in the middle of it.

Those aside though, nothing else could be seen. Looking down at the floor, it appeared to be made up of white and black tiles, like a chess board. And around the square 'board', there was nothing by empty darkness. Overhead, what looked like small boxes, emitting a gentle blue light- _were they charmed? Magic, had to be_ \- floated through the air, illuminating the space. Looking down at his hands- relieved to see that his trusty wand was still safely in his grasp, tightening his grip upon it- Harry wracked his brains, trying to remember, remember. What it was that had happened, before he'd been swallowed by the darkness? _Why was he here- wherever, or whatever, here actually was?_ Before he could spend too much time thinking much about it though, he heard something, something behind him. Jumping up out of the chair, Harry whipped around, raising his wand to point it in the direction of the approaching footsteps.

"Harry Potter." Harry's wand hand wavered at the sound of the soft, gentle voice, and his raised arm slowly started to fall back down by his side as a girl- _no, young woman_ \- emerged from the darkness. She had dazzling blue eyes, ones which looked even more like gemstones than his own did, and even her gleaming hair was the exact same cyan-blue color. Pretty much the exact same color as the actual gemstone adorning the necklace-thingie around her neck, and as the floating box-lights above. Her clothes weren't the same color though- they were mostly either dark blue or white. And frilly. And kind of skimpy…

As she walked past him, Harry averted his gaze from her bared thighs- left almost completely exposed, in spite of her long, knee-length stockings, by that tiny semi-transparent miniskirt she was wearing- to stare instead at the clearly magical item floating in the air around her, a translucent, ghostly pink ribbon of some sort. He was staring it so hard that when she took her seat in the white chair in front of him, and uttered those next few words, it took him a few seconds to realize that she'd spoken at all, and for those words to register. But when it did, it brought his whole world crumbling down. "Wait- WHAT? What did you just say…?"

"I said, welcome to the Afterlife. Unfortunately you passed away moments ago. Your life was a short and eventful one, but you are, in fact, dead." She smiled.

"No, no- I can't be dead. I can't be…"

"Well, you wouldn't be here if you weren't, now would you? Honestly, you humans say the dumbest things sometimes…"

"But, but…" Then, the memories started to come flooding back. Of his last few moments, of what had happened before he'd found himself here. The truth about Sirius Black, and about the rat who'd really betrayed his parents to Voldemort; Pettigrew's escape, their ambush in that clearing in the Forbidden Forest by the Dementor horde… "Wait. What about Hermione? And Sirius?"

"Oh- your godfather's alive, he got away. Actually, wait… No, they both are. Honest." The blue-haired young woman cast a reassuring, sweet smile at him, and Harry breathed a heavy sigh of relief, slumping forward.

"Thank Merlin. Well, at least I didn't die in vain."

"Er… Actually, he wouldn't have gotten hurt, even if you hadn't done anything. If you'd left him behind, and hadn't done anything to try and save him, he would have been absolutely fine."

"Huh? I don't- understand…"

"Those emotion-draining Lich Shades, the 'Dementors' as you call them, they can't do that soul-sucking thing of theirs on you unless you're in human form. Your godfather, Sirius, he wasn't in human form. He managed to shapeshift back into his other form, that of the big black dog. So they couldn't do anything to him anyway. And you two were perfectly safe the whole time- they were sworn not to attack any of you students. Especially after what'd happened the first time, when they invaded the… What was it? 'Quidditch'? Fascinating sport. Anyway, after that pitch invasion, extra measures were taken, more clauses inserted into their unbreakable magical contract with your Ministry of Magic. Neither of you were ever in any danger from them."

Harry blinked, completely thrown off. "Huh? Hold up, wait just a second…"

"What is it?" The Blue Lady fluttered her eyelashes at him innocently.

"Then what happened? Didn't I die by getting my soul sucked out? I remember it happening…"

"No, you only imagined that happening. You actually died of shock."

Harry's eyes bulged in disbelief, his jaw dropping to gape at her. "WHAT? I died of- SHOCK?! No. No, no WAY…!"

The Blue Lady's face twitched for a moment, before she promptly burst out laughing. "Aahahahaha! I've been doing this for a long time, but you're the first human to ever die in such a bizarre, unnatural way! Heeheehee…"

"I'm a true Gryffindor, for crying out loud! It's impossible! IMPOSSIBLE!" _I've never even met this girl before. What's her deal?_

"Oh yes, you were so terrified that you lost consciousness, and control of your bowels, and died of fear, lying in a puddle of your own pee! They didn't find your body for a full day, and when they did finally find it, after sending out search parties into the forest, the people who found you were laughing at you so much! When they weren't holding their noses, and gagging at how bad you stank! Even in the hospital wing…"

"Stop! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to, I don't want to!"

"Your magical Guardian, Albus Dumbledore, rushed over there, and even now he's laughing out loud at your cause of death!"

"Shut up! Shut up! I don't believe you!"

The Blue Lady wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes, still smirking at him. "Haha, that never gets old! Oh yes you did, you did believe me! Ehehehe… Well, I've vented enough stress for now. Oh, and your friend, the girl- Hermione, was it? Well, I suppose it'd make things go a lot quicker if I just processed the two of you together. Soo…"

The woman clicked her fingers. A gushing spout of water appeared out of thin air alongside him, kind of like she was doing a wandless Aguamenti spell; but instead of just spurting water everywhere, the water seemed to have life of its own, materialising into the shape of another chair identical to his own, and then into another person sitting in it, building up from the feet first. And not just any other person either.

"Hermione," Harry breathed, his eyes going watery as he fought desperately not to cry. The waterspout petered out, and as its last drop fell, Hermione took a gasp of breath, shivering and clutching her chest. Turning to look at him, he could see that her eyes were brimming with tears too.

"Harry. I'm so, so sorry. I tried, I really did try as hard as I could, but I couldn't… T-the Dementors, there were too many…"

"But- you said she survived! You said!" Harry yelled, leveling an accusatory finger at the woman in front of them.

"Did I? No, I never said that."

"Yes, you did!"

The Blue Lady squinted, fiddling with a lock of her hair for a moment or two, before nonchalantly shrugging her shoulders, that broad smile still plastered across her face. "Oh, did I? Whoopsie. Ah well, never mind!"

 _Damn her!_ Harry rose from his chair, righteous fury pasted across his face. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"Oh, right, I haven't even told you yet, have I? And I should introduce myself to your female compatriot as well. My name is Aqua. I'm a goddess who guides humans who die young to the afterlife. Now, the two of you have two choices. You can both start from square one with a new life, be reincarnated. Or, you can carry on like old people, and go on to Heaven. To tell you the truth, Heaven isn't the dreamy place you all imagine it to be."

"Huh?" Hermione blinked away the tears, and stared at the- _Goddess? Seriously?_ Hermione gazed intensely up at Aqua with a trace of her characteristic expression, academic curiosity,

"Not only is there no entertainment, but there's no fun, no games, no drama. You don't even have physical bodies, so you can't do anything sexual up there, either."

 _Why the heck did she bring that up?_ Harry stared down at the tiled floor, his face turning a bright shade of puce. "I-I don't- I mean, I'm not…"

"Me too! I mean, me neither!" Hermione chimed in, a slight blush making its way onto her face.

"Hehehe. Anyway, there's nothing to do up there but bask in the sun for all eternity. I know, super dreary, right?"

"What? So…"

"Yeah, you don't wanna go to a boring place like Heaven, do you?"

"Uh, right…"

"On the other hand, starting from square one isn't so fun either. On that note, I've got a great offer for the two of you! You like games, don't you?"

"Er- yeah, kind of…" Harry admitted, the slightest hint of a smile returning to his face as he mused about his last Quidditch match, and how he'd finally lifted the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup. That'd been the greatest day of his life...

"No, not really," Hermione muttered, her scowl deepening.

Smiling softly, Aqua cleared her throat, before rising from her own throne-like seat, raising her hands dramatically above her head, and adopting a wailing voice that reminded him of Professor Trelawney's. "That world, which has long enjoyed peace, is being threatened by the Devil King's army!"

"Eh? You mean the Dark Lord's?"

"Yes, yes," Aqua murmured, closing her eyes and waving it away dismissively. "The livelihoods its citizens have worked for are being trampled by monsters! Everyone lives in fear of the Devil King's armies' merciless pillage and slaughter!"

Er- Yeah, we know? Sat there in silence, Harry turned to look at Hermione- who'd already raised her hand, to try and ask a question- and found that she was wearing the same unimpressed, skeptical facial expression he was.

"…Slaughter!" Aqua squealed again, even louder, still scrunching her eyes shut and dramatically quivering her arms above her head. Harry and Hermione exchanged glances, as the dramatic pause stretched on, and on... Finally, Aqua opened her eyes again, cleared her throat, and sat back in her regal seat.

"Since that's the kind of world it is, everyone refuses to be reborn, so the population is declining."

"I see…" Harry murmured, even though he didn't, hoping that it'd shut her up. Hermione gasped as a thought struck her, waving her raised hand before letting it flow out.

"Oh, wait. I studied this, in the advanced theory textbooks on Ghoul Studies. Magical souls, reincarnation- it didn't mention anything about reincarnation, but it said that souls can either choose to 'pass on', or to become ghosts. But if they can choose to either go on to heaven or to be reincarnated when they pass on- is that the mystery reason for the magical population crisis? Because all of the wizards and witches are choosing to go to heaven instead of being reborn, meaning that their souls and all their magic's flowing away with them, forever…?"

Aqua stared at Hermione for a few moments, before nodding thoughtfully, turning to the book set on her desk, materializing a quill out of thin air and jotting something down hurriedly. "Definitely worth looking into- thanks! You never know, might even be worth adding your world to the redistribution scheme too… Anyhow, we decided, 'Why not send people who've died in other worlds there with their bodies and memories intact?' That way, we'd be able to shore up the numbers, lessen the population decline…"

"But what's the point of sending us there if we're just going to be 'slaughtered', like everyone else?" Harry said sullenly, crossing his arms and glaring at her.

"That's why I'm doing you a big favour! I'm granting you both the right to choose any one thing each, to take there with you. It could be a powerful weapon, or a tremendous talent. You'll be able to redo your life with all of your original memories, and to top it off, you can each bring this one thing of your choosing. And the people of the parallel world will earn someone- no, two someones- battle-ready to help them. Not a bad deal, don't you think?"

Nervously, Hermione raised her hand again. "Um- I want to ask something. You're saying this is a parallel world we're being sent to? Not the one we're from?"

"Oh, no. You can't be resurrected like this in your own world, silly. Don't worry though- you won't have a problem understanding any people in the new world. It won't be an issue- with the kind support of us Gods, we'll overload your brain, so that you'll be able to learn their languages instantly. Oh, and as a side effect your brain might just go 'poof' if you're unlucky though. SO, all that leaves you to do, is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment! Let's get to it, shall we?"

Aqua waved her hand in an arc and summoned a flurry of sheets of card, each of which had stuff written on it. Grumbling, Harry rose from his seat, reaching out to read the first that came to hand. The- Padparadscha Chakram? _Allows one to harness the powers of Succubi, and make them slaves to one's bidding…_ _Dunno what Succubi even are. Sounds like they kind of suck though, from their name._ And the thing itself looked WAY too girly for his tastes. Pass. What's next…? The Longbow of Misfortune- _curses all those struck by its arrows to forever miss their marks._ Too bad he didn't know archery, and he knew he'd never be able to hit anyone with them. And the strength requirements- _Yikes. Besides Hagrid, would anyone be able to wield this bloody thing?_ Pass…

"…Wait." Harry stopped, glancing up at Hermione, who was still frozen in her seat, narrowing her eyes at Aqua, and using the iciest tone of voice he'd ever heard her use. "I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, 'poof'?"

"I never said that." Aqua smiled innocently.

"Hold up. Yeah, you did!" Harry raised his voice, pointing a finger at Aqua again. Who, for her part, blindly ignored the both of them, spreading her arms wide and melodramatically shouting out another proclamation.

"Now, choose! I'll grant you one power that is second to none!"

* * *

Aqua kept yawning. Deliberately, louder and louder each time. Gritting their teeth, Harry and Hermione, who'd joined him in searching through the cards strewn across the floor and sorting them out into categories (alright, who had done practically all of the sorting-stuff-out stuff herself), tried their best to shut the Goddess out, and kept looking. It was hard to tell how time worked here- he couldn't speculate on whether it had only been a few minutes, or over an hour. They'd managed to get through sixty one cards so far- thirty six magical items (thirteen offensive, nine defensive, fourteen other), and twenty five magical abilities (eleven active, fourteen passive). Now, they were on the sixty second card. Yet another entry to the 'other magical item' category- _The Sivuftotovi Kachina,_ some weird dragonfly hairpin which could apparently be activated, brought to life and used to spy on people- but still…

"I dunno, Mione. For the life of me, I still can't decide. How about you?"

"No, me neither. I've ruled out several of them, sure, those which are useless along with those which I'm reasonably confident I could replicate with magic, like this one. I'll definitely be working on developing a few of them myself- now that we, won't have any schoolwork or exams or anything like that, ever again…" Hermione tapered off, glumly staring down at the floor and looking downcast. The thought hadn't even crossed Harry's mind until then. _Guess there'll be some upsides of this after all_ … "A few of the others have given me ideas, certainly,"Hermione continued, "but I just- these descriptions are so subjective, so _vague_. It's impossible to compare them definitively..."

"Hey, hurry it up." Aqua interrupted, before taking her loudest, most exaggerated yawn yet. "No matter what you pick, it's all the same. No-one's expecting much from a nerdy schoolgirl and an orphaned failure like you anyway."

"Hey! Don't talk to Harry that way!" Hermione huffed, outraged by this woman's disparaging words.

"Oi! I am NOT a failure!" Harry roared. "And my parents died to save my life!"

Aqua waved her hand dismissively, rolling her eyes. "None of that matters. Now, hurry it up. I've still got lots more deceased humans to guide, you know."

"Where do you get off?" Incensed, Hermione rose to her feet, glaring at her. "I don't care if you're a supposed 'goddess'- apologize, now. NOW!"

"Well, you know, you could help him to pick one, speed it up a bit. You know how long the queue behind the two of you is, how many people you're holding up?"

 _Damn her! Acting all high and mighty just because she's a goddess, and because she's a little bit pretty_ … _Bad-mouthing my parents like that? Making out like their sacrifice meant nothing, just 'cause I died anyway?_ Broiling over with rage, Harry struggled to stop himself from lashing out at her, either with his wand or his bare hands. Then, the cogs turned in Harry's head, and he managed to hold himself back; a sadistic smirk eking its way onto his face as he came up with an idea. "'Hurry up and decide', huh? I'll do just that, then. Choose one thing to bring to this parallel world with me, right?"

"That's right."

"Okay- I pick you."

"About time." Aqua muttered, not even bothering to look up at him. Doing some sort of wandless magic with her hands, a runic circle sprang up around Harry, along with a shimmering, translucent barrier which pushed Hermione and the cards away. Suddenly weightless, Harry started to drift up off the ground. "Alright, stand there and don't leave the magic circle…" Aqua stopped abruptly, blinking as Harry's words finally registered. "What did you just say?"

"We have heard your request." Aqua, Harry and Hermione all whipped around, craning their necks to stare upwards at the speaker; another woman, considerably more modestly dressed than Aqua, with huge feathered wings growing from her shoulders like an Abraxan, gracefully floated down from above in a flurry of feathers.

"Who- who are you?" Hermione blurted out, gazing wide-eyed at the bona-fide angel descending into their midst.

"Thank you for asking, Hermione. I am Aether. And I will take over your job from now on, Aqua."

"I, I…" Aqua was still gaping like a fish, seemingly lost for words. Aether raised her own hand, and Aqua let out a scared shriek as another circle identical to the one around Harry sprang up around her as well, trapping her inside it.

"Harry Potter's wish complies with the regulations and has been accepted."

"Hey, what is all this! W-What? You've got to be kidding! No, no, no! Come on- This isn't right! Taking a Goddess with you is against the rules! It must be illegal! IT HAS TO BE ILLEGAL! WAIT! WAIT!" Drifting up off the floor along with Harry, Aqua screamed hysterically, frantically banging against the barrier with her fists and waving her hands around in an effort to undo the magic herself.

Touching down on the tiled floor, courtseying politely to both Harry and Hermione, the newly arrived angel, Aether, sat back in Aqua's recently vacated chair, smiling and waving at her. "Please have a safe trip, Aqua. Should you successfully defeat the Devil King, I'll send someone to pick you up, 'kay?"

"I may have the ability to heal since I'm a Goddess, but I have no fighting ability to speak of!" Aqua wailed, a veritable waterfall of tears now cascading down her face. "I can't- there's no way I can defeat the Devil King! Hey, wait…!"

"Heheh." Harry chuckled loudly, baring his teeth and grinning like a shark in Aqua's direction. "How does it feel to get dragged away with the guy who you treated like a total idiot? You've been designated as the one _thing_ I'll be bringing along. So if you're a goddess, that means you'll have to use your godly powers or whatever to make things as easy as possible for me, right?"

"Harry? You're…" _Scaring her. Scaring me_ … Struck speechless, backing away from the magic circles, Hermione looked back and forth at the two of them, Aqua and Harry. Blushing fiercely, and averting her gaze away from Aqua, when the 'goddess' floated up in the air high enough to give her a clear view up her revealing mini-skirt and she realized that the woman wasn't even wearing any panties. She'd never seen her best friend like this before; never even imagined that Harry _could_ look like that. And while the 'goddess', Aqua, had been a right b-bitch (even saying it in her head, Hermione had to force it out, and felt guilty for thinking the dirty word), Hermione couldn't help but feel a bit of sympathy at the sight of the tears flowing from her eyes, and the expression of utter terror on her face, transfixed with fear and quivering at the mere sight of Harry's malicious death-grin.

"No! I don't want to go to a parallel world with a guy like this!" Aqua pleaded desperately, to no avail. Completely ignoring her, Aether turned to address Harry, still smiling softly.

"Brave hero, I pray that of the great many prospective heroes, you will be the one to defeat the Devil King- perhaps with the help of your friend Hermione. If you manage to do so, we will grant any wish you desire as a gift from the Gods."

Harry did a double-take, dropping the shark-grin for a look of astonishment. "Whoa, for real?!"

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!" Aqua yelled angrily, tears still dripping from her face at her from the corners of her eyes.

The angel, Aether, spread her arms and wings out wide, opening up magic portals above Harry and Aqua. "Now, go forth on your journey!" She exclaimed.

"NOOOOOO! KYAAAAH…!" Aqua screamed at the top of her voice as she was sucked in, disappearing along with Harry. Both portals closed behind them, with the magic circles and the shimmering walls around them vanishing in an instant. Her heart pounding, Hermione reached into her pocket, clasping onto the familiar wood of her wand, before spinning back around to face down Aether, ready to draw it at a moment's notice. For her part though, Aether simply beckoned to her to sit down- with a sweep of one of her wings, and a flurry of an impossible amount of feathers, she summoned a desk in front of her chair, slightly reminiscent of the one in Dumbledore's office. Another wing-sweep, and all of the cards scattered far and wide across the floor by the havoc earlier flew across to her desk, sorting themselves out into five neat stacks.

"Please, Hermione, pull up a seat. Now, which special ability or item shall you choose to take with you, to aid you and your friend in your quest? There's no rush- take as long as you need to make up your mind. And if you have any questions or inquiries, please, don't hesitate to ask."

* * *

 _Author's Note: Alright guys, so here's the first chapter to this brand-new story, officially the very first Harry Potter/KonoSuba crossover fanfic ever. And yeah, I did pick that particular moment for Harry's death for convenience, with a few other factors in mind (most notably being able to bring Hermione along as well, as relative ages). Anyways, that aside, Hermione still hasn't chosen her magical item/ability yet, and while I've got my own ideas for what it might be, I'm open to suggestions if you've got any good ones in mind for her. Since Harry Potter isn't Kazuma by any stretch of the imagination (although their statistical abilities, pretty decent to average across the board in all aspects besides having absurdly high levels of luck, are incredibly similar), and he'll soon have Hermione there with him as well,_ _things will pan out rather differently from the way they did in KonoSuba- but not as differently as you might think. This story's definitely going to have a Harry/Megumin pairing, but I just wanted your opinions- should it be an exclusive pairing, or as part of a Harry/Harem? And if the latter, who else should be in it? T_ _hat's it for this chapter. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I hope to see you all next time!_

 _(Also, I've posted this chapter, but I've got an absurd number of ongoing stories, so even though I've got this fanfic more or less plotted out already, don't slaughter me if I don't manage to publish the next chapter within the next week…)_


	2. Down To Earth With a Bump

**Chapter 2: Down To Earth With A Bump**

"Oomph!" Harry landed in an awkward heap on the ground, knocking the wind out of him for a moment. Slightly dazed, blinking to try and clear the kaleidoscopic color show he'd gotten travelling through the portal from his vision, he stood up, readjusting his glasses (which were miraculously still unbroken) and straining his eyes to take his first good look around at this new world he'd been sent to. When his vision cleared, he found himself standing by the side of a cobbled street, right in the middle of a large village or small town. There were lush grass verges instead of pavements, and looking around, it appeared that the whole town was surrounded by a wall; but aside from that, and from the absence of the castle, this place immediately reminded him of the place he'd just left behind, reminded him of Hogsmeade in the height of summer- it was warm and pleasant, with the sun beating down on him from high above in the clear blue sky.

The rows of cottages, the cobbled pavements, the large willow tree set in the middle of a small village green, the stream of water gushing under a small bridge beneath the path just ahead, glimpses of a forest covering the tops of the distant, barely visible hills far beyond the walls… And taking a good look at some of the other people walking down the busy streets, chatting with one another and going about their own lives, this place looked even more magical than Hogsmeade did. With at least half of them, there was a question mark over whether they were actually people at all, or something else; that woman over there had ears like a house elf, and that guy over there had proper bull's horns like you'd expect to see on a minotaur, but other than those features, they both looked pretty much like normal humans.

Was it even possible to have half-Elves, or half-Minotaurs? He wouldn't have thought so, but then again, Professor Flitwick _had_ been a half-Goblin, and he'd heard people saying that Hagrid _was_ a half-Giant. If those were possible, then who was to say that these other ones weren't, especially when the proof was right there in front of him? And there were others whose origins he couldn't even begin to speculate about- like that pink-haired little girl splashing around in the water under the bridge with a group of other little boys and girls, standing out from the crowd and making herself the center of attention. If he'd been able to see only those bat-like wings, and her fair-as-porcelain skin, he might have drawn the conclusion that she was some sort of vampire, or maybe a half-vampire.

However, while he didn't know much about vampires, he definitely knew that they wouldn't be playing out in the midday sun. And that neither their wings nor their eyes would be that same shade of lurid pink as this girl's hair. And that those bat-like wings wouldn't be growing out of the sides of their heads, and only be the size of a regular bat's wings. But it wasn't just the diversity which took him aback; in Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, and even up in Gryffindor Tower, there'd always been at least one or two people tossing hostile glares at someone or another. But here, everywhere he looked, he couldn't see that hostility, fear or prejudice in anyone's face. Everyone here looked so, so- happy. Relaxed. Content…

"Wow. This really is a brand new, completely different magical world, isn't it?" Harry breathed, a broad smile spreading across his face. Literally everyone in this town looked to be wearing non-muggle, magical clothes, as well as wearing what appeared to be enchanted armor and carrying around enchanted weapons, of all colours, styles, shapes and sizes. And some of them were a fair bit more revealing than others.

What that- fox girl? _Nah, those ears and those four fox tails had to be part of her costume, had to be enchanted magical accessories or something_ \- over there was wearing? Aside from those accessories of hers, and that armored shoulder-piece (upon which she effortlessly hoisted a massive war hammer, with a handle at least twice as long as she was tall and a head that looked to be bigger than her petite torso)? That wasn't even enough to count as a proper bikini; it was just a bunch of thin strings holding three little metallic golden triangles in place, each of which was barely the size of a Hogwarts' Prefect Badge. When he first saw her, he'd thought that Aqua's outfit was pretty skimpy (and still did). But compared to that fox-girl over there, the blue haired goddess was…

Standing right there beside him, on the grass verge by the side of the road, a few short paces away. Clutching her arms tightly around herself, visibly shaking and quivering as she sobbed away silently, her eyes still streaming with a seemingly endless trickle of tears. Trying his best not to let her waterworks get to him, Harry thought back to the way she'd laughed her head off after winding him up about how he'd died, and how Hermione had died, as if it had been nothing but a big joke. Remembering all of those nasty, unthinking insults she'd slung at them, and the way she'd brushed off his parents' sacrifices as meaningless.

He kept telling himself that this was HER fault for pushing him like that, and that she deserved this and more. But try as he might, it wasn't enough to fight back the wave of overwhelming guilt washing over him, just from standing back and looking at the state she was in right now. Scratching his scarred forehead, Harry looked down at the small puddle which had formed around Aqua's feet- _blimey, how could anyone cry that much without mummifying themselves?_

"…Aqua? Look, Aqua, I didn't want to- I mean, sure, I did want to get back at you for all that mean stuff you said, a lot, but I don't now, not like this, and…"

What could he say though? What could he do to change it now? Aqua's only answer was to let out an ear-splitting high-pitched wail, easily rivaling the volume and pitch of Seamus Finnegan's boggart-banshee, raising her hands to clasp the sides of her head and starting to frantically tug on her long blue hair, with the tears flowing even more now. Feeling as guilty as sin, with no idea as to what more he could do, Harry slowly stepped forward, trying to keep his feet out of the now large, but still crystal clear puddle she was standing in, stretching to reach out his arm and tentatively offer her a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Her response was to leap forward, grab onto his shirt, and start screeching at the top of her voice, bobbing her head back and forth like that of a ragdoll, her unfocused, mad-looking eyes open so wide that they were almost bulging out of their sockets. Unable to break free from her grip, with her deceptively slender but inhumanly strong hands tightening their iron vice-like grip on his shirt and tightening the school tie strung around his neck with every yank, Harry desperately fought to try and pry her fingers off, but she was too strong.

"What the heck? Stop it! Stop, it! Gaaagh… I, can't, breathe…!" Harry toppled over, finally managing to get Aqua to release her hold. Sprawled on his back, Harry fumbled to loosen his tie, gasping to get his breath back, before slowly getting back to his feet and brushing himself off.

"I get it, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry! If you hate it here that much, then you can go home, back to where you came from, alright? I can do this, defeat this 'Demon King', on my own…"

"What are you talking about?" Aqua wailed, flailing her arms around. "I'm in trouble because I CAN'T go back! What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna DO? What am I supposed to do from now on?! I'm doomed, I'm DOOOMED…!"

J _ust what were they going to do?_ Harry pondered. Defeating this 'Demon King'- that was the mission, right? But where to even start? Adjusting his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose, Harry Potter turned away, setting his sights on the big, sprawling building up at the end of the road, set right in the centre of the town, surrounded by its own small moat. It sure wasn't Hogwarts, but it was pretty obvious that it was going to be the best place to find whoever was in charge around here, and try and find some answers. Finger crossed, the two of them should be able to find someone there who'd be able to tell them where they were, and work things out from there.

"Just- calm down, Aqua. Calm down… We can't just, stand around here all day. Let's get moving, try to get our bearings."

Sniffling loudly, with the seemingly limitless flow of tears from her eyes finally drying up, Aqua nodded. "O-Okay."

"Actually, come to think of it- you sent us here, right? That means you must have some clue where we are, and which places we'd need to go to?"

"How the heck should I know? I'm a goddess. There's no way I'd know about every little lowly place like this."

 _Figures_. Huffing in annoyance, Harry turned around and started walking off up the road. "Alright then, I'm off."

"HEY! Where are you going…?" Bounding forward with a splash, leaving behind the crystal-clear puddle of tears she'd cried out just a few moments ago, Aqua quickly caught up with Harry, walking alongside him as they made their way up the road together- drawing a fair few stares from some of the other people, and various shades of magical beings standing in the streets, Harry noticed. "Where are we going?"

"That place, right over there." Harry raised his hand to point at where they were headed; nonplussed, Aqua squinted hard to try and work out what Harry was pointing at, leaning across to rest her head against his shoulder and stare down his arm in that direction (making Harry's face flush red in momentary embarrassment, all too conscious of her big, soft but firm boobs pressing up against the side of his chest).

"What place? Where?"

"Here."

"OOOHH. THIS place…"

Reaching the central town square, the large, tall multi-storey building set on the island in the middle of the shallow moat reminded him a bit of the Three Broomsticks Inn back in Hogsmeade, except that it was a bit- smoother, less pointy, and a lot nicer and brighter to look at, with terracotta-red roof tiles instead of blackish-brown ones. There were even two tall, thick wooden pillars in front of it, standing on either side of the entrance to the drawbridge, both of them wrapped with multi-colored ribbons. Even with the- lucky totem poles?- there though, and with that great big green flag with what looked like a Golden Snidget emblem on it hung up to take pride of place above the main doors, it didn't take too long to twig that, just like the Three Broomsticks, this place was a tavern.

And it didn't take him too much longer to realize that his initial impression of this place from afar, as somewhere nice, friendly and family-orientated, had been jumping the mark a bit. Making their way onto the wooden bridge to the main entrance, looking over the sides into the shallow moat below, they could see a whole heap of discarded glass bottles piled up beneath them. And approaching the door, it sounded properly rowdy inside, with the loud noise of a dish or glass being broken startling Aqua enough to make her jump.

"Scary…" Aqua muttered, cringing back from the door and clutching her arms tightly around her ample cleavage. Harry could see where she was coming from too. Forget the Three Broomsticks; with the raucous coming from this place, it sounded more like the Hog's Head. Still, they'd come too far to back down or walk away now, and it wasn't like there was anywhere better to go take a look first.

"Come on, Aqua," Harry murmured. "Can't let yourself be afraid- you have to put on a brave face…" Aqua's eyes widened even more, the fearful expression on her face becoming exaggerated to the extent where it was almost comical, but when he pushed the doors open, she followed him in nonetheless.

Inside, they were greeted by a buxom blonde woman, wearing what was clearly a serving maid's uniform, seeing as how there were three more identically dressed ladies walking around between the tables, carrying around plates of food and mugs of what had to be alcohol. Before Harry could even work out the words of what he wanted to ask first, she'd offered them a quick welcome, instructing them to take any of the available seats if they were there to eat, or to head to the counter if they "needed job guidance"- _what was this place, a tavern or a job centre?_ \- before prancing off again just as quickly as she'd come, not spilling a drop from either of the two foaming tankards she was holding in her hands.

Harry took a moment to savour the experience, try and get the feel of the place and take in the ambience. It wasn't quite as relaxed, friendly or cozy as the Three Broomsticks; this place was a lot bigger. There was a big white marble statue of some guy with a crown on his head, wearing a red cape and bearing some sword which bore more than a passing resemblance to the Sword of Gryffindor, standing right in the middle of the hall; and there were way more people, pretty much all of whom were wearing armor and carrying proper weapons themselves. Still, it wasn't nearly as rowdy as he feared it'd be. This place seemed alright…

"Hey!"

Harry jumped, spinning around and burying his hand into his wand pocket to face the gruff-voiced speaker. He turned out to be a muscle-bound man at least a full head taller than Harry, sitting on his own at the nearest table. The guy's facial features didn't look out of the ordinary enough to peg him as being anything other than a regular human. Besides his lack of eyebrows, that strange moustache with the bald patch in the middle, and that weird half-bald ridge-like hair on his head- taking that into account though, along with the weird purple-brown color of his hair, and the way he was dressed, bare-chested with those massive, heavy-looking shoulder armour pads? The guy looked just like one of those goblin rebellion warriors right out of Binns' textbooks.

"…Haven't seen you around town before. You're new here, ain't ya?" Aqua took one look at the guy's face, squeaked again and leaped behind Harry, trying to hide and cower behind him. "Another Crimson Mage too, from the look of those robes. Though they're pretty formal by Crimson Mage standards…"

"Eh? 'Crimson Mage'?"

"Yup. The boldest of the bold, bravest of the brave, most attack-minded, determined, reckless, feckless, anti-authoritarian, lunatic clan of magic users in this beautiful world. Ain't no-one who can tell a Crimson Mage what to do, order one around or knock even the slightest bit o' sense into any o' them. Least of all the Demon King. Ain't that right?"

"'Crimson Mage', huh?" Harry murmured, a wide grin spreading across his face. _Did that mean what he thought it might?_ This might be a whole different world, bizarrely different from the magical world he'd come from, but it sounded as though it still had its very own equivalent of Gryffindor House! One that was very much alive and kicking, with its wizards and witches still soldiering on and fighting the good fight against Lord Volde- _whoops, sorry, 'The Demon King'- that was going to take some getting used to_. Awesome! "You'd better believe it…!"

"Ha Ha! Knew it, what with those red and gold wizard's robes. Couldn't be anything else. Still a bit confused 'bout all that black an' that grey though. What's with that- did ya just attend a funeral or somethin'?"

Harry nodded slowly, his grin lessening a bit at the far too fresh memory of how he and Hermione had met their premature demises. "Er… Yeah. Guess you could say that I did, as a manner of speaking…" Shaking his head, Harry decided to switch the subject, striding across to stand at the guy's table. After all, he'd come in here to try and glean some info about where they were, and what the situation was like around here. _Time to get on with it…_ "Anyway, we've actually come a long way, and we just got into town. Whereabouts are we? What is this place, anyhow…?"

"Ha Ha Ha!" The muscle-bound warrior's booming laughter rang out around the tavern again, even louder this time, drawing a few glances from a few of the other people sitting at the tables around them. "Well, kiddo, this here's the Adventurer's Guild! And not just any Adventurer's Guild either- the best damned Adventurer's Guild in the whole wide world! This town, Axel, ain't called the town of Beginning Adventurers for nothin'- all o' the best, brightest and strongest heroes fightin' the good fight against the Demon King started their journeys right here, as members o' this fine Guild!"

Harry nodded enthusiastically. "Great. See, I've travelled here to join the fight against the Demon King and his forces of evil too!"

"Is that right, you reckless punk? WELCOME TO THE GATES OF HELL!" The man roared, grinning broader than a shark, his eyes bulging in their sockets as he raised his tankard in a toast- drawing another frightened 'eep' from Aqua as she cringed behind Harry, backing a step or two further away. "If you're lookin' to sign up, the Guild Admissions Desk's over there."

 _It is, huh? Cool_. Offering the guy a thumbs-up, Harry headed off in the direction he'd been pointed, towards the counters lined up over on the opposite side of the Guild, past the big statue of the caped King in front of the entrance. Aqua followed closely behind him, tossing one last scared glance at the intimidating warrior. "Hey. How can you make up a story like that on the spot?"

Harry stopped abruptly. What was she on about now? "A story? I just told the truth! Didn't make anything up…"

"Was it? Oh, I suppose it was, wasn't it? Except for the bit about you being a Crimson Mage. Although, you are a Mage, sort of. Wizard, Mage, it's the same either way. And you were part of that Crimson Group, weren't you? Though it didn't do you or her any good, not in the end. And you didn't actually say that you were a Crimson Mage either, he just assumed you were. So I guess that you sort of didn't…"

"Aqua?"

"…make that story up after all- Yes?"

"Stop. Talking. Please."

"G-got it. I don't know anything about games, but I guess that's how it works in worlds like this, right?"

"How the heck should I know? You're the goddess, you sent us here, so you're the only one of us who'd have any clue as to how stuff works here."

"Wow, you really aren't at all capable or dependable, are you? No wonder you bit the dust so early, and wound up taking that friend of yours down with you…"

Tossing an angry glare back over his shoulder at Aqua, Harry growled, baring his teeth and grinding them together to stop himself from rising to the bait. Felt like telling her to s _hut your filthy gob, you snide, air-headed, cowardly bitch_ …! Reaching the counter, he fixed his stare down at the stone floor right in front of him for a few seconds, trying to cool his broiling temper. Blowing his top at Aqua, spewing forth the loudest, rudest string of cuss words that he could muster, would certainly make him feel a whole heap better right now. But it probably wouldn't provide anyone else in this place with a great first impression of himself.

And neither would losing it and lashing out at the goddess, or someone else unlucky enough to get caught in his gaze right now, with another outburst of accidental magic, like what he'd done back to Aunt Marge back when she'd wound him up and set him off last summer. _Relax, take deep breaths_ … Once he'd calmed down enough to feel reasonably confident that he wasn't going inadvertently inflate her into a floating balloon, Harry raised his gaze to meet the eyes of the wavy-haired blonde woman sitting behind the counter he'd walked up to.

At least, he'd intended to look her in the face. As it was though, he wound up getting sidetracked along the way, his attention grabbed by what had to be one of the biggest sets of knockers he'd ever seen, their unbelievable size only accentuated by the- _uniform?_ \- she was wearing. A one-piece sleeveless, strapless white dress, which left her shoulders, the top of her chest and her back completely bare, and shoved her breasts upwards and outwards so far that he wouldn't have even been able to rest his hands on the counter without her brushing them up against his arms; along with a white collar-style choker, and a red bow-tie wrapped around her neck.

"Hello, I'm Luna. What can I do for you today?"

"Um-" Harry shook his head to try and clear it, straightening his glasses and managing to tear his gaze away from Luna's mouth-wateringly plump melons. "I'd, we'd, like to sign up to become members of this, 'Adventurer's Guild'. You know, to defeat the Demon King- what we're here to do."

"I see. In that case, you'll first need to pay the registration fee."

"Sure, no prob-" Harry froze, doing a double-take as Luna's words registered. "Wait, say what? Registration fee? Payment? How much?"

"That'll be a thousand Eris each; two thousand Eris for the both of you."

"Eris? I don't…" Harry started patting himself down, rifling through the pockets of his robes, in the hopes of finding his bag of coins, even though he was ninety-nine percent sure that he hadn't been carrying it with him at the time he'd copped it. "How much would that work out to in Galleons?"

"Gal-lee-ons? I'm sorry, I've never heard of that currency. We couldn't possibly accept payment in it, or exchange it…"

 _This just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?_ Not that it mattered- he didn't have his coin-bag on him anyway. Although, on the plus side, when frantically searching through all the pockets of his robes, he'd managed to find something else, folded up and tucked away in one of them, which was far more valuable and important to him. With a shadow of a smile flickering across his face, Harry kept his hands in his pockets, grasping his wand in one of them and fondly stroking the unmistakable, silky-smooth fabric of his Invisibility Cloak with the other.

It was good to know that it hadn't been left behind and lost forever. Course, it didn't help them in the slightest right now. There was no way he'd ever give it away, barter with it or sell it, for any sum of money. And that fortune he'd had, locked away in his family vault at Gringotts? It was all gone, lost to him. Here, he didn't even have two knuts to rub together, all thanks to… "Aqua! Do _you_ have any money?"

Harry span back around to take a long, hard look at the blue-haired fallen Goddess, who was still hanging back from the desk, standing there on her own. Her only reaction was a little half-shrug, her face remaining completely blank and expressionless. "You dragged me here without any warning. Of course I don't."

 _Bloody hell, she's useless_ …

* * *

"Hi. Are you two ready to place an order yet?"

Huh? Oh, right, this again. It was the one of the other serving maids this time though, the one with the short, spiky auburn hair and the green eyes. Harry sat up straight, rubbing his neck to try and straighten out the kink from where he'd been slumped over the table. "'Fraid not, sorry. Thanks for asking though."

"No problem! Just let me or one of the other girls know when you're ready, okay?"

With a friendly smile and a nod, she strode off to one of the adjacent tables, clearing away the dirty dishes and emptied flagons left behind by whoever had been sitting there. Harry groaned loudly, slumping forward to plant his face on the table again. His stomach groaned even louder in protest. If he could have, then he'd have ordered something to eat and drink as soon as they'd left the Admissions Desks for the time being and come back over here, before he'd even taken a seat. But of course, getting anything to eat or drink in this place cost money too. And unfortunately, they were flat broke.

Looking at the prices on the menu, given how much it'd cost to buy those drinks back at the Three Broomsticks (turned out that they served Firewhisky in this world too- what he'd give to be able to buy a flagon of that right now, and get properly plastered), an Eris worked out as being roughly the same value as a Sickle. So that money they'd have to raise to pay both of their registration fees, 2,000 Eris? That'd be the equivalent of about 120 Galleons- around the same as the cost of a brand-new Nimbus 2000. And while he didn't really have a head for figures or money, even he knew that much dosh didn't just grow on trees.

"So, what now?"

Sitting across from him at the same table, Aqua spoke up, breaking the long silence at last. Letting out a deep sigh, Harry looked up at her, putting his elbow down on the table and propping up his chin with the palm of his hand. "Well, I'm stumped. Best thing we can do is wait for Hermione to get here. She's dead smart, she should be able to figure something out no problem. Thought she'd have been here by now though. What's taking her so long? And how much longer d'you reckon she's gonna take anyway?"

"How long? Hmm…" Aqua squinted hard, scrunching up her face in fierce concentration. A minute or two passed by, with her face growing a deeper shade of puce, before her eyes suddenly popped wide open again, and she let out a loud gasp, clapping her hands together. "Oh, I remember! What day is your birthday, Harry?"

"It's- on the 31st July. What the heck does that have to do with anything?"

"So, we know what the date is today then, good, good- and Herrymoanie's?"

"Her-MY-O-nee's."

"Whatever, same difference." Aqua waved it away dismissively, rolling her eyes at the correction. "When's her birthday?"

Harry shrugged, scowling in annoyance, both at the goddess for asking such a pointless question, and at himself for not knowing the answer even though he really should've. "Middle of September. Not sure what day though. The something-teenth. Least, I think so…"

"Al-righty then! So, she'll be getting here in no time at all- just another month or two from now!" Aqua flashed him with the full glare of her dazzlingly bright crystal-white smile, striking a pose and making peace signs with both hands. Dumbstruck, Harry just sat there, his mouth gaping open and shut again like a fish for a few moments before he managed to get his voice back.

"Whaa… No. _Way._ "

"Oh, YES way! Amazing, right? Of course, it was all my idea to orchestrate things that way. Instead of having to go through all of that trouble and hassle, trying to memorize _two_ different birthdays, and not even being able to celebrate the second of their two birthdays properly cause they're SOO gloomy and sad about it having been their first deathday as well. No, instead, every single person who chooses to be reborn here, into this world with their bodies and memories intact, gets to be born on the same day in this world that they were back on their own world! And the best part- I found out that by doing it that way, I didn't even have to fill in _any_ paperwork at all! I know, I know- you've been stunned speechless by my blinding simplicity! But it is only to be expected. I am brilliant, after all…"

Aqua flicked her long, shimmering blue hair in a pompous manner, looking at him expectantly, as if she expected praise and adulation _. If Ron had been here_ , Harry mused, _she would've probably gotten the kind of reaction she was looking for from him_. An actual Goddess, one placed in charge of something as important as what she'd been doing, managing to get away with that level of skiving, slacking off and work-evasion? That alone would've been enough to convince his red-headed best friend that Aqua deserved to be idolized and revered above all the rest.

Even now, Harry had to admit that it _was_ breathtaking. But right now, he was way too peeved about the consequences to care about how godly Aqua's level of ability to dodge her responsibilities may have been. He was unemployed, out of school (chances were that he'd probably have to pay to enrol at any of THOSE too), and so skint that he couldn't even afford a drink or a bite to eat, let alone a roof over their heads. But he was going to have to get by on his own, without anyone else to help him out, for all that time, until Hermione got here. For a whole MONTH? Or TWO?

"Merlin's Bollocks…" Harry mumbled, frenetically rubbing away at the lightning-bolt shaped scar on his forehead harder and harder as it started to sink in. Nonplussed, Aqua reached across to pat him on the head, ruffling his unruly hair a bit.

"Oh, don't be like that. It isn't _that_ bad. Why, just think- you'll be getting the privilege of spending all of that time in the divine presence of the Goddess Aqua! Here with me, right by my side, just the two of us together! Won't that be great?"

That did it. Letting out a loud, despairing moan, Harry clenched his eyes shut, plonking his face down into the table, hard. _This, was going to be a long, LONG month..._

* * *

 _Author's Note: Sorry it took a fair bit longer than intended to get out the second chapter. Writer's Block; what can you do, eh?_ _I'm kind of torn about what to do, with regards to the rating- should I water some stuff down, and keep it as a T, or play it up and change the rating to M?_ _Anyway, t_ _hat's it for this chapter. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and reviews would be much appreciated!_

 _Also, just tossing this out there as a spin-off plot-bunny: given when Harry and Hermione died in this AU, and that Pettigrew has already successfully made his escape, the Wizarding World which they left behind is effectively doomed, with no way to avert Lord Voldemort's impending resurrection and rise to absolute power. As such, building upon Hermione's suggestion back in Chapter 1 that the population crisis in the magical world of HP could be tackled in the same way as the Afterlife adminstrators' solution to resolve the population crisis in the magical world of KonoSuba, in this spin-off, Eris subsequently sends Kazuma over to the Wizarding World of HP instead, to attend Hogwarts in Harry's place (starting from the beginning of the 4th book GoF) and fill the void left behind by his premature demise by defeating Lord Voldemort himself._

 _Will Kazuma rise to the challenge, and step up to become the saviour of the Wizarding World? Or will he treat the whole experience as an RPG fantasy game, and instead prioritize assembling his harem of magical Hogwarts schoolgirls, making himself comfortable and living the high life on the wealth in the Potter family vault at Gringotts? If anyone's interested in writing it, I'll leave Kazuma's course of action in your hands; and I'd also be glad to help with beta reading. Until next time..._


	3. Things That Go Bump in The Night

**Chapter 3: Things That Go Bump in the Night**

It was past midnight, into the early hours of the 'morning', but the crescent moon was still hanging up high in the dark night sky, and it'd still be a few hours before the sun rose over the horizon. He'd been here in this world for about a week now, so by his reckoning, that made it around about the 7th of August. That meant that he still had at least another month to go, probably another month and a half, until Hermione was set to get here. That was, provided that Aqua _had_ been telling the truth about that, and that everyone who'd get sent here from other worlds _was_ going to arrive here on their birthday- but really, who was he kidding? One of the very first things that he'd come to realize about the Goddess, back on that very first day they'd arrived here in this world, was that Aqua couldn't manage to tell anyone even the smallest white lie about anything, even if her life or anyone else's depended on it. Or rather, that she was too damned stupid to figure out when to do so.

Before meeting Aqua, Harry'd thought that he was an honest, straight-forward and outspoken guy. And Ron? Back in his own world, his former life, Ron had been all of those things, more so than anyone else he knew. But Aqua? She made even Ron look and sound like a ruddy Slytherin by comparison. She was the opposite of a pathological liar- Aqua couldn't help herself, couldn't stop herself from bragging and blabbering to everyone about absolutely everything. Everything that could possibly cause trouble, at any rate- she'd still lie about heaps of other stuff. Tact? Discretion? She didn't know the meaning of the words. For instance, that first not-so-bright idea that she'd had back then, to raise the cash that they needed to sign up with the Adventurer's Guild, was to go marching around the Guild proclaiming her divinity, calling out to any of her supposed worshippers in the Axis Sect, and demanding that they provide her with money as "divine offerings to your goddess!"

And yeah, it had _kind of_ worked with that kindly old bloke at the bar, the Eris Sect priest, who'd shown pity on her and given her four sickles. Sorry, four hundred _eris._ Come to think of it, it was a bit weird that the goddess who'd taken over from Aqua, along with her sect of followers and the local currency, all had the same name- what was she, the goddess of money or something? Not to mention that she was the patron goddess of this town, of Axel. What were the odds, eh? Anyhow, that priest had also offered a few wise words, advising her that she shouldn't be going around calling herself a goddess no matter how pretty and devout she might be. But what had happened after that, when he'd asked the priest where they'd be able to find followers of the Axis Sect, then followed his lead to that district of Axel where all of the Temples were bunched together?

That'd been a straight-up disaster. Aqua had stood on top of a soapbox and proclaimed her godhood, shouting out how much better than any of the other gods and goddesses who had temples there she was, and demanding outright that all of the worshippers and priests of every sect which had temples there should change their faiths to worship her instead, trying to levy holy tithes from them all. As well as bad mouthing them by rolling off all of the other deities' character flaws, bad traits, mistakes and various misdeeds. Some of which were just, well, weird. Like that one she'd shouted the longest and loudest, and gotten the angriest reception for- all of that stuff about how Eris was supposedly the flattest-chested, smallest-breasted goddess in all of heaven. Hollering that "HER BOOBS AREN'T EVEN REAL, THEY'RE PADS! ERIS WEARS PADS!"

She wouldn't listen, wouldn't stop, and in the end, they'd been lucky to escape the forming lynch mob. As it was, they'd just been arrested and placed in the town's gaol, spending their first night in this world there- he'd had to use all of the money they'd gotten from the Eris Sect Priest to post their bail. Harry hadn't a clue what 'pads' were supposed to be. And even after Aqua doing her best to drive him mad that night, taking it upon herself to explain it to him over and over again instead of letting him sleep, he still refused to believe that breast padding was actually a thing. Sure, plenty of girls could be really weird, and, well, girly. Make-up was ridiculous enough in itself. But _breast pads_? No way. No doubt about it, Aqua HAD to be a liar. Scratch that- she'd lied about his and Hermione's deaths, the whole reason he'd gotten mad enough to drag her down here, so of COURSE she was a bloody liar! It was just that the only lies she could ever tell were hurtful and insulting ones, for the sole purpose of winding people up. Figured...

Harry was completely and utterly knackered, after a long, arduous week of hard labor, as one of the construction workers on the town's walls. But he still just couldn't get back to sleep. He'd gone to work there after getting out of the jail cell, having heard about it from one of the prison guards, and he'd figured it'd be pips easy, a decent way to earn enough quick quid to pay the Adventurers' Guild's registration fees and finally get started on their Quest to defeat this Demon King. After all, he'd mastered the Levitation Charm back in his first year- how hard could moving a few bricks around be? But nope, not so much. The way that magic worked over here, in this world, was, well- weird. Not that he'd known much about how it had worked back home, mind you, back in his own world. Just a couple of Theory Of Magic lessons, back in the first term of his first year at Hogwarts, and he hadn't been paying attention in either of them- they'd been so boring and forgettable that he couldn't remember the Professor's name, or even remember whether it had been a witch or a wizard who'd been teaching the subject.

Nah, back then, he'd been too stoked about that Flying Lesson, and about getting into the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. He _did_ know, though, that back home, in his own world, he hadn't had to concern himself with all of this complicated nonsense about mana, and about mana points, and about which of his spells depleted more of his magic or drained it away faster than others. Back in his own world, Harry definitely hadn't had to worry about reaching his limits, cause he hadn't really had any solid limitations to speak of. _I mean, come on, wasn't the whole point of magic supposed to be that it was limitless, with infinite possibilities and all that?_ But it wasn't, not for him, not any more. He'd learnt how to conserve his magical energy, his mana, now. But he'd had to find out about that unfortunate issue and learn his lesson the hard way, on that first day on the job. Cause as it turned out, over here in this world, the Levitation Charm used up _massive_ amounts of magic, draining away his energy reserves of magic for every instant that he kept it going. Not just that, but the heavier the items he tried to levitate with it, the faster his magical energy drained away.

So he could still use it to levitate really light stuff, like those feathers he'd learnt to cast it by practicing with in class, no problem. But those massive, solid stone blocks they were building the wall with, each of weighed at least twice as much as he did? Fat chance. Even just levitating the first few of them into place had felt like a tougher physical work-out than anything Oliver Wood had ever put him through. Ten, and he'd had been gasping for breath, his limbs like lead, having to lean back against the nearest support he could find and to prop up the elbow of his wand-arm to raise it. And he'd only managed to make it to thirty-four, to keep going for an hour at most, before he'd collapsed in a heap, unable to go on or even to move. He'd managed to recover enough strength to shakily get back up later on, pushing himself to exhaustion, but he'd only managed to lift about thirty more blocks into place, around sixty in total.

Hmm- what if he tried bewitching those massive bricks to make them feather-light? That way he'd be able to levitate them properly again- and not just that, but everyone else'd be able to lift them and slot them in place with no trouble at all. They'd be able to complete the construction of that section of the wall in an hour or less, easy. If only such a 'Feather-Light Charm' actually existed. If it did, he didn't have a clue what it was or how to cast it. And he didn't even have a clue whether it might be possible to create that kind of spell himself, even back in his own world, let alone here. If anyone would, or could, it'd be Hermione. But of course, she wasn't here. All thanks to this dumb-ass goddess he'd been stupid enough to drag here with him...

Rolling over in the bed- no, in the hay? _Great, the transfiguration's worn off in the middle of the night, yet again_ \- Harry gave up on trying to nod off again for the time being. Opened his eyes, sat up, and fumbled around for his glasses, eventually managing to find them and get them on. Glancing quickly over his shoulder, he could see that the said good-for-nothing goddess was sprawled out on her back, snoring away loudly. He'd never thought that he'd miss having to deal with the din of Ron's snoring, but in that area as well, Aqua had easily relegated Ron to a distant second, leaving him trailing in her wake. Thankfully, while his transfiguration work had worn off, the Silencing Charm he'd cast on her still held for now. Even so, pulling his wand out, he decided to renew it anyway just to be on the safe side. Wrinkling his nose, Harry swept his wand out in a circle, banishing away any freshly dropped piles of horseshit. Couldn't be bothered to transfigure the haystack back into a king-size bed though. Living out in a stable sucked, big time.

But even so, it was a fair bit better than his cupboard under the stairs back at the Dursleys. Heck of a lot more spacious, at any rate. And thanks to the agreement with the stable owner that they'd be the ones responsible for cleaning out the horses, they were getting to stay here free of charge. Besides, even with all of the piles of horse crap and horse farts everywhere, it didn't smell like a stable anyway- weirdly enough, it smelled fresh, fragrant even. Though, for some strange reason, that only seemed to be true around Aqua... Harry stretched his hand out to gently grasp a lock of the oblivious sleeping Goddess' long, flowing bright blue hair, before transfiguring his pile of hay back into a futon bed and lying back down again. Brought it to his nose, and took a good whiff.

Oh, WOW. It, _she_ , smelled _exactly_ like one of those posh 'Coastal Mists' scented candles that Aunt Petunia'd bought for Aunt Marge's visit, the last time he'd seen them. Not just that, but when he held her hair like this, breathing through it, he couldn't smell even a trace of the horses around them. Almost as if she was somehow doing the, the- _what was it called again? That charm that dispelled bad odors?_ He just, _couldn't, remember._ Grrr. That, was just so, so- _oh, come on, can't you think up a another bloody word instead of just "weird, weird, WEIRD", over and over again?_ Where was Hermione when you needed her? Oh yeah, that's right. Thanks to this pitiful excuse of a fallen goddess right here, the one lying next to him and snoring away in the hay, clutching an empty bottle in her hand (if she didn't have this bizarre- _YES, finally thought up a different word_ \- passive special ability as a magical air freshener, Harry was sure that Aqua'd be absolutely reeking of alcohol right now), she'd still be stuck in Heaven for another month or so.

The Goddess barely did anything on the construction site, besides teasing and taunting him while he was down for the count, rolling around laughing at him for 'lacking stamina' and 'being such a quick-shot'. Painting didn't count, even if half of the others applauded her paintwork like it was some big deal, since she wasn't even getting paid for it- just doing it for fun, to make the wall 'look pretty'. And Aqua hadn't bothered to even try and find proper work to earn decent money anywhere else either. Instead, the ruddy worthless work-shy goddess had just gone around learning useless party tricks, like that flashy version of the Aguamenti Charm she kept showing off. And, of course, running up a larger and larger bar tab at the Adventurers' Guild Tavern, making merry by buying bucket-loads of the priciest booze she could get her hands on, chugging it down like a sailor and drinking herself into a drunken stupor every night. Which, of course, she'd keep on sending to him, acting all stuck-up and entitled by demanding that he pay for her drinks 'like a proper man', and 'for his Goddess'; only to immediately start piteously whining, bawling, and even begging on her hands and knees whenever he'd refuse to pay, until he'd finally relent and cave in to stop her making a scene.

He wouldn't even have minded, IF he'd been able to afford it. He actually didn't mind drinking with her, and enjoyed knocking back a pint or two with her and the lads at the tavern. He'd even made a couple of new drinking buddies at the Adventurer's Guild, in the last couple of days- Dust and Keith were proper solid guys, great fun to hang out and chat with. Leah was pretty okay to hang with as well. And while the leader of their foursome, Taylor, was a more than a bit uptight, at least from the sound of it- reminding him a bit too much of Percy Weasley for his liking- he still had half a mind to ask them about the possibility of teaming up with their party, once he'd managed to save up enough money to finally register himself and Aqua at the Guild. But the sad fact of the matter was that he still hadn't. He couldn't.

Since he'd humiliated himself by pushing himself to his limits on the first day, he'd mostly stuck to other tasks rather than lifting the massive stone bricks into place, tasks which he could either do without magic or by using other, less taxing spells; like that Excavating Spell, _Defodio_ , that he'd remembered from his Herbology lessons. Over the past week, he'd worked his fingers to the bone, doing at least a quarter, maybe even a third, of all of the work on that construction site single-handed. Single-wanded, at any rate. He'd done the work of twenty muggles, easily. But to what end? In spite of all that hard work he'd put in, come the end of the week, he'd still only gotten the same ridiculously low pittance of a pay check for his week's hard labor as everyone else. Which wasn't even enough to pay off the massive bar tab that he'd already allowed Aqua to get away with racking up at the Tavern, let alone pay for the registration fee at the Adventurers' Guild, or the costs of moving out of this stable and renting rooms at one of Axel's Inns.

This wasn't how his bright new life, in this bright new parallel world, was supposed to be, damn it! NO- this definitely wasn't working out. It was time to take some proper action, turn to more drastic measures. The fate of this whole beautiful world was at stake, after all- he'd been selected as the Chosen One, handed this responsibility to save the world by defeating this 'Devil King'. Everyone here was counting on him. Harry couldn't dither around any longer, couldn't afford to stay skint or to allow unpaid debts to stand in his way. And he didn't have the time or patience to earn their way by slaving away all day on that construction site, in that dead-end job. Specially not on this measly wage, and not if Aqua was gonna keep burning through their cash to pay for her beloved booze at the rapid rate she had been during their first week here. So, _screw this_. If he wanted to get his hands on enough cash to clear that debt, Harry mused, get them registered and get started on the Quest he'd come here to complete, there was nothing else for it.

He'd have to nick it. Sounded like the simplest plan in the world, sure, but he still knew it'd be a lot easier said than done. Rolling off of the transfigured bed, Harry rose to his feet, dusting himself off and picking off whatever bits of loose straw had stuck to him, before carefully tiptoeing over to the wall pins where he'd been hanging his clothes up in the place of the horse-shoes that'd been hung up there originally. Hurriedly getting dressed into his school robes, he tossed a nervous glance over in Aqua's direction, cancelling the Silencing Charm he'd placed on her, to let the sound of her snoring drown out any noise he might be making. Merlin, the Goddess's snoring really was loud enough to wake the dead. For all he knew, seeing as how he'd met her in the afterlife, Aqua could well actually be waking the dead in her sleep right now...

BANG BANG BANG. _"OI! Cut out that racket! I'm tryin' to sleep...!"_

Harry cringed, crossing his fingers and praying that it wouldn't wake Aqua up. Somehow, though, miraculously, his luck held. Aqua slumbered on- her only response to the grouchy old stable owner's banging and bellowing was to mumble something under her breath, clasping the emptied bottle of pricey liquor she'd been holding to her chest. Cuddling it, and fidgeting around, with its tall and narrow bottle-neck slotting in snugly between her ample assets, rubbing up against them... His face reddening, Harry yanked his gaze away from the sleeping goddess, ramming his feet into his shoes without bothering to tie or untie them. Then, last but certainly not least, he reached up to take his shining, gleaming silvery-grey Invisibility Cloak down from the wall peg he'd hung it up on. Stroking it for a few moments, Harry admired its smoother-than-silk, woven water-like texture, before tossing it over his shoulders and wrapping it around himself, vanishing from view.

If he'd just been saddled with nothing but the good-for-nothing goddess, he didn't know what he'd have done. But he'd had the good fortune to have already been carrying this, his bonafide magical 'special item' of his own, with him at the time when he'd died. This little job that he was planning to pull off would require a fair bit of stealth- and unlike Aqua, who was about as stealthy as a marching trumpet band, the Invisibility Cloak would certainly be dead useful in helping him carry out this illicit caper, letting him get in and get back out with the goods without anyone catching so much as a glimpse. There was still a niggling little voice in the back of his head- _which kind of sounded like Hermione's, come to think of it_ \- nagging away at him about how wrong this was, how he shouldn't be going out to break the law or to steal other peoples' stuff.

But he ignored it, shoving it to the back of his head. Taking a deep breath, trying to relax, Harry silently sneaked out of the stable, and started making his way down the cobbled road. Not towards the Guild in the town centre, not this time. Most of the largest, grandest and posh-looking houses in Axel looked to be located in the opposite direction, off towards the outskirts of town, down this road past that graveyard, and that was where he was heading off to. In those luxury mansions, there had to be whole chests packed to the brim, full to overflowing with coins and other riches, just laying around. And what with how rich the people who lived in those mansions had to be, to be living in them, he could steal more than enough to clear Aqua's bar tab and pay their registration fees at the Adventurer's guild, and chances were that they wouldn't even notice- it'd be nothing but loose change to them anyway.

Yeah. This was nothing. It was fine. Robbing the rich, to feed the poor (well, himself- but he was poor right now, so it still counted) _and_ to get the funds to kick-start his divinely appointed task of saving this world, by defeating the evil Devil King- well, it was a no-brainer. He knew what he was doing was the right thing, for the greater good. Kind of like Robin Hood... Harry straightened his posture as he swept the last of his lingering doubt and moral qualms away, nodding his head vigorously under the cowl of the Invisibility Cloak's hood. Sure, he might've left his dad and his friends' map behind, but in it, they'd still left him a legacy to uphold, to take pride in. He was still a Marauder, born and bred. Time for that to mean something. Middle of the night, invisibly prowling the practically deserted, pitch-black unlit streets of Axel in the darkest hours, with the full moon illuminating the clear midnight-indigo sky- he couldn't imagine a more perfect time or place to be going out maraud- _ing_...?

The sky wasn't so clear any more. And the roads weren't so deserted either. Traipsing past the graveyard, Harry stopped dead, standing there for a moment and just gaping at the sight. He'd visited graveyards before, but he'd never seen any ghosts before he'd attended Hogwarts, ever. And Hogwarts was supposed to have been the most haunted place in all of Great Britain- heck, the most haunted place in the whole wide world. His world, anyway. But the number of ghosts he could see here, right now, beggared belief. He'd never seen so many in his life. Dozens upon dozens of them, several of them in pairs and a fair few groups of threes and fours, wandering in from all directions. All of them drifting into the graveyard, weaving their way through the tombstones, to join a veritable crowd that easily dwarfed the turnout at Nearly Headless Nick's deathday party- all of them congregating in a circle around a single woman, who was standing there in the middle of them.

She clearly wasn't a ghost herself- she wasn't greyish-silver or translucent like they were. He couldn't see her too well in this light though, through the invisibility cloak, even with the bright, eerie glow from that great big flock of ghosts illuminating her. She was pretty tall, and that she had a voluptuous hourglass figure, with a bust and a backside which were both large enough to easily rival those of the receptionist at the Adventurers' Guild (whose name he'd forgotten, again). You might even mistake the two for one another, at least from this distance; that was, if it weren't for this woman being a wavy-haired brunette, instead of a straight-haired blonde like that receptionist. He couldn't make out much more than that though. And he certainly couldn't hear what she was saying from this far away, or what it was that the ghosts were saying to her. But whatever it was, she seemed to have them in raptures. What was this, some sort of seance? Whatever was going on with these ghosts, whatever that woman was doing, it wasn't any of his business. And he had a mission he needed to get a move-on with, toute-suite.

Shaking his head, Harry turned his attention back to the task at hand, creeping forwards and sticking to the shadows. He knew that his Invisibility Cloak worked to conceal its wearer from the eyes of ghosts at well, but even so, he decided to play it safe and give any ghostly passers-by making their way into the graveyard as wide a berth as he could, turning up his collar to insulate against the sudden spectral chill in the air. There was no point dithering around either, wasting precious time and running the risk of his escapade dragging on into the twilight hours. Any of the nearby mansions in this district were fair game, so he might as well start with the closest one first. Even if it did appear to present a bit more of a challenge that he would've liked. Scouting out the perimeter, taking in the full height of the brick wall enclosing the property, Harry again lamented the loss of his Firebolt.

But moaning about not having it wouldn't do him any good. This would've been easy as pie if he'd been able to simply hop on his broom and fly in. But he could still manage to do this without it. All of those times he'd escaped from Dudders' gang of big fat thugs back in Little Whinging by outrunning them, escaping over obstacles to places where they couldn't follow him- he'd never thought that experience would come in handy before, but it sure did now. The walls were too high for him to vault over, so Harry took a short run-up from across the road, launched himself upwards and did a two-step vertical wall-run, only just managing to pull it off. His left hand slipped, leaving him dangling precariously single-handed from the top of the wall for a moment, but he just managed to grab a hold again before he would've slipped and fell.

Hanging there to take a breather for a sec, checking to make sure that the Invisibility Cloak was still covering everything up and that none of his bits were showing, Harry hoisted himself up, mentally grumbling yet again about how damned annoying it was that casting spells sapped away his strength in this world, and how much more weak and feeble he was feeling right now than he should've been. Clambering up the wall- but not over it, not yet. Instead, he stood there perched atop it, taking his time to survey the grounds and the pitch-dark manor house inside from his new elevated vantage point. The ledge of the wall was narrow and uneven, but he had the poise and and agility to keep his balance while standing atop a swerving, bucking broom in mid-flight. Compared to that, this was effortless. Child's pla- EHHH...?!

 **~PAUSE~**

"NNGAAH...!"

"EEEEP...?!"

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, without any warning, something- or someone? Clattered into him from behind at full force, catching Harry completely off guard, and sending him careering clear off of the ledge, tumbling head over heels towards the ground below in a crazy tangle of limbs. He barely had time to react, let alone think, before slamming into the lawn below, knocking the breath out of him and almost knocking him out cold. Winded, both with whatever- whoever? had crashed into him and from the fall, Harry gasped for breath, groggily uttering a few choice swear words, and fiercely shaking his head to try and clear away the profusion of stars flashing before his eyes...

" _Mnnh nhh muhhk mmth_ \- _mnnm_!?"

...Harry's eyes bulged in shock, his face turning almost as crimson as the trickle of blood running down from one of his nostrils, as his vision cleared and he realised the real reason why he was still struggling for breath, just realised what was muffling his efforts to speak and hampering his efforts to shake his head. The thing which had bashed into him, and knocked him off of that wall just like a squishier and more marshmallowy bludgeon, hadn't been a thing; it'd been a girl. One with light pink hair, porcelain-fair skin, and what looked like lurid pink bats' wings sprouting out of the top of her head, just like that little girl who he'd seen splashing around in the stream, back on his first day in this world. It definitely wasn't that same girl though- this girl was a lot older than that chubby little tot, probably about the same age as him. Her hair was cut short too, and she was a fair bit more slender as well.

"Ow, ow ow ow... Aww, not again! Stupid, stupid wards..."

But Harry hardly noticed any of those things. Not when the girl wasn't wearing anything besides a pair of long, arm-length gloves, lacy thigh-stockings held up with suspenders, and a bikini that was so scandalously skimpy that there was probably less fabric in it than in either of her gloves, nothing more than a few purple strings with a few pink frills attached. And certainly not when they'd somehow wound up intertwined in this position, with her soft, snuggly thighs clasped over his ears, and her almost-exposed crotch straddling his still-invisible cloaked face. _Too close- TOO CLOSE_! Down in his nether regions, his soldier jolted upright, standing to attention and saluting the sight spreadeagled before his stunned eyes, so hard that it was almost painful. Harder still, when the girl started moaning and fidgeting around, her startled reddish-pink eyes frantically searching the manor's gardens.

"Wait- what is this? I'm feeling- _arousal_? B-but whose? It can't be mine- it can't be! T-there's no-one here, but it's almost like there's something, s-someone, watching me-eeEEE?! _L-l-licking me_? D-down _there_?! Noo, not there! Aah...!"

" _MMMHH!? NN MM NNT!_ GGGRFF! Geroof! PAAH...!"

Unable to take it any more, Harry hoisted the girl up off of him and shoved her aside, planting her on her backside. Getting some breathing space at last, Harry sat up, yanking the invisibility cloak's hood off, exposing his head and gulping for air. Eliciting a shriek of terror from the girl, and sending her scrambling back until her back was pressed up against the wall she'd knocked him down from. "EEK! You don't have a body- y-y-you're a _**Dullahan**_!? B-but, your head, it's _levitating_...!?"

 _Cripes, she's going to blow it for me, going to wake up everyone in the house_... Jumping to his feet, Harry rushed in to close the gap, putting a hand over her mouth to cut her off and slipping his other hand out from inside the long sleeve of the Invisibility Cloak to place a finger against his own lips, miming for her to be quiet. "Ssh! Stop, stop, stop! Now you, the both of us, have to keep quiet, alright? Alright? Quiet. Qu-i-et..." Slowly, gently, Harry took his hand away from the girl's mouth, just about managing to put on a nice, friendly smile. _If she squeals on me now though, I'm so screwed..._

But she didn't scream, or shout out. Instead, the pink-haired- _vampire girl?_ \- just stood there, propped up against the wall, looking back at him with watery eyes, relief painted across her face. And when she spoke, it was in a soft, muted cross between a whisper and a mutter. "You, you're a, human. Just a human. Thank goodness..."

"Well, yeah, course I'm human," Harry retorted, readjusting his spectacles and brushing himself off. "You aren't then? And what's a flipping- _Doolaharn?_ \- supposed to be?"

"Eh? You don't know? The Dullahan? Headless Horsemen? The Devil King's deadliest, most feared undead cavalry- there are a couple of them who are even supposed to be his top generals, members of his Unholy Seven..."

The girl shuddered, the same sort of way that people had when they'd spoken about Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters back in his world. It made sense that peoples' reactions when talking about this 'Devil King' and his inner circle of followers would be pretty similar. But he'd refused to be afraid of Voldemort or the Death Eaters back there, even though that evil bastard had murdered his parents and tried to kill him as a baby. And he refused to be the slightest bit intimidated by this world's 'Devil King', let along his followers, no matter how strong, powerful or evil they were. Harry blew a raspberry, rolling his eyes and strolling across to lean against the wall alongside her.

"Oh, D'uh. _Those_. I'm not from around these parts, and haven't been in town for long... Why the heck would you think I was one of those?"

"Sorry. I couldn't see your hands, or the rest of your body, or even your neck. All I could see was just your head, there all on its own. Blinking, and breathing, and- well, you know. That, naughty thing, you did to me, with your tongue. Licking me, _you-know-where_..." The pink-haired girl blushed fiercely, averting her gaze and fiddling around with the metal ring holding her teeny-weeny bikini top together.

"I was _not_!" Harry protested, his cheeks flushing like a ripe tomato, waving his arms around in frantic denial. "I wasn't doing anything like that! I was, just, trying to talk, that's all. And breathe. Not my fault you were sitting on my face, damn near suffocating me..." Merlin, this was awkward. He was feeling so hot under the collar that he wouldn't have been surprised if steam was pouring out his ears right now, like a boiling kettle. And she was still looking at him with that bashful upturned gaze, still sticking her fingers in and out of that ring in her bikini, stretching the awkward silence on, and on, and on.

How was _this girl_ , this girl who was roaming the streets in the middle of the night in an outfit as obscene and indecent as _that_ , managing to stare at him with such a shy, coy and innocent expression on her face? With her skin almost seeming to glow in the light of the moon above, her short hair fanning out behind her even without a hint of a breeze in the air...? Harry scrunched up his eyes, unsuccessfully willing the uncomfortably large bulge in his boxers to subside. "So... I'm human. Just what are you then, if you're not one? A vampire?"

The girl crossed her arms and scowled at him, both the glow of the moonlight on her skin and the alluring shimmer in her hair dissipating away instantly. "Wow, you really aren't from around here, are you? For your information, no, I am _not_ a Vampiress, I'm a Succubus. And Succubbi are _not_ Vampires, 'kay? I mean, yeah, sure, we're kind of related. But they're not like us, and we're nothing like them! What they do, blood-drinking, it's just- bluurgh, sooo nasty! And gross, and evil...!"

So she _was_ kind of like a vampire then? But different- how? Harry cast his thoughts back to what little he knew of vampires, back in his world. He'd never thought about it then, but... "Evil? How come? And what makes you lot so different from them then?"

"Well, by feeding like that, they're drawing their strength from blood magic, aren't they? That's the darkest black magic there is- especially when Vampires hardly ever ask for permission first, and some of them even murder their victims, even fighting for the Devil King! And by doing that, they taint themselves, blacken their souls so much that they can't even venture out in sunlight any more without being smoldered to a crisp. I'd never do that, not in a million years, no matter how much they try and claim that it makes them stronger or more powerful. No, we succubi feed on..."

The succubus girl hesitated for a moment, clearing her throat before she continued, a tinge of embarrassment returning to her face. "Well, we feed on other- bodily, y'know- fluids. And only if they're totally okay with it, only with full consent! Anyway, by doing it the way we do, we're drawing our strength from pink magic, instead of their evil, corrupting black magic- from the magic of new life, from love. Yes, we might look similar, on the outside. But we're nothing alike! And there's NO reason to fear us, or to hate us!"

The succubus was still pouting, glaring at him with her arms folded across her chest, her fists clenched as if sizing up for a fight. But Harry was so staggered by the revelations that all he could do for a few moments was to just stand there and blink at her, trying to process them all. Her fair skin and short pink hair didn't have that strange, entrancingly beautiful glimmering glow that they'd had for a little while earlier; even so, looking at the girl now, he was seeing her in a whole new light. The power of love, huh?

"Whoa. Alright then... So, what's your name? I'm Harry Potter, by the way." _No!_ Harry mentally face-palmed himself. _Don't tell her that! You're here to commit a burglary, you idiot!_ But the succubus girl almost seemed startled by the question- unclenching her fists, her expression went blank for a sec, before tilting her head to one side and looking at him as if he'd said something strange.

"Whaa...? My name? I- I'm so sorry, it's just that no human's ever asked me that before. It's, I'm, Yadorigi. Thank you for asking!" The succubus girl, Yadorigi, suddenly leaned in closer and beamed up at him, catching him off guard. "Ehehe- Harry?"

"Yes, I'm Harry Potter." Oh great, tell her again, just in case she didn't catch it clearly the first time. _Brilliant thinking_... Yadorigi brought her gloved hand up to point her finger at him, playfully tapping him on the tip of his nose with it.

"You're a thief, aren't you?"

OOOH-KAY, time to beat a hasty retreat... "What? No, no no no, noooo," Harry stammered, waving his hands around and backing off. "Not me. Anyhow, nice chat, but I've gotta be heading off, on my way..."

"Oh, you don't have to worry! You probably don't know this, since you're new in town, but there's nothing wrong with thievery, not here in Axel! Here, theft's totally legal; possession's the only thing that matters. If you can steal it, it's yours by law, for however long you're blessed with the good fortune needed both to steal it and to keep it being stolen back from you."

Stopped in his tracks, the task of preparing his run-up for the wall-run back up and over the wall forgotten, Harry stared incredulously at her. "Say what? For real? No way- that's awesome! But, how does that even work?"

"Oh, they have a saying here- 'Eris giveth, and she taketh away'. She's the town's patron Goddess, and the Goddess of Luck- both the good and the bad, both fortune and misfortune. If people try stealing everything from everyone else, and selfishly hoarding it away for themselves, well, her karmic redistribution typically does a pretty good job of balancing it all out. Sooner rather than later, in most cases."

"What- you mean I could just waltz into this guy's house, knick as much cash I need, and it'd be fine? Sweet!" Harry flung out his invisibility cloak like a cape, pumping the air with his fist, and confidently strode towards the manor house, feeling as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. For a couple of steps- before Yadorigi's deceptively dainty gloved hand came down on his shoulder, with her suprisingly strong, firm and heavy grip immediately stopping him in his tracks and yanking him back.

"Well, the thing is, Harry, I'd really, really advise against it. And I'm not just saying that because he's one of tonight's clients, or cause he'd point the finger at us. See, since stealing isn't outlawed here, pretty much everyone who can afford them has anti-theft magic on their purses, coin pouches and vaults. And this guy, the landlord who lives in this manor, he doesn't fool around with locks, or with gentle, slap-on-the-wrist jinxes. He made sure to let us know that he's hired a level 26 warlock to lay down proper curses on all of his valuables. As in, the kind that'll kill, slowly and painfully. And he wasn't bluffing either- just ask those lot, over there."

Yadorigi pointed out what looked like four flagpoles, over in one of the far corners of the garden, each set in its own mound of dirt. Except that instead of flags, each pole had few tattered, blackened items of clothing hoisted up on it, flapping around to mark out what could only be the shallow graves of their former owners. _Brrr..._ Harry shuddered. "Yeesh. That's nasty."

"Tell me about it. If you're looking for an easy mark though, I'd recommend the merchant who lives a couple of houses down the road from here. You can't miss his place- he always leaves his merchant wagons out in the yard, packed full of his wares. And they're never locked or warded either. There are a couple of night guards on watch duty, but with that amazing magic item of yours, sneaking past them should be..."

"...a piece of cake," Harry breathed. "Sounds great. Thanks, Yadorigi. For cluing me in, for the tip, and for the heads-up." _And let's not forget that lovely faceful she gave you_ , a decidedly dark, husky voice in the back of his head reminded him, bringing a reddish tinge back to his cheeks.

"No problem. Stay safe, kay? Sayonara!"

Yadorigi gave him a massive grin, jutting out her hip to one side and making a peace sign, before suddenly leaping up at least five metres straight up, and gliding away in a graceful, swooping arc that carried her in through one of the open windows on the upper floor of the manor, leaving Harry with a couple of parting shots of the naked flesh of her thonged backside, and one last flick of the forked tip of her long, dangling tail, before she was gone. Offering a parting wave, Harry let out a low whistle- whether it was one of relief, or simply in admiration of the fine view, he honestly couldn't say. Pulling the invisibility cloak around himself, pulling its hood back up over his face to fully conceal himself from view once more, Harry ran back up and over the wall, planting a perfect landing back in the middle of the street.

Walking away, off in the direction of the other house that the succubus girl'd told him about, Harry nervously licked his chapped, but not quite dry lips. There was still a tiny hint of some unfamiliar, not unpleasant taste, lingering on them- her taste. But the main thing he was getting a taste was far more familiar, and instantly recognisable. _Blood_? His? Wiping his upper lip, Harry grimaced when his fingers came back smothered with red. Least it wasn't still bleeding, but his nose must've been gushing like a tap for it to be that bad. It could only have happened when she'd knocked him off the wall, when she'd landed on top of his face. He couldn't remember it bleeding then, but it must've been, surely. _Come on_ \- it wasn't like he could've gotten the nosebleed just from looking at a half naked (well, okay, she _was_ more like 90% naked) girl. _Was it_...?

* * *

 _And we're back! Sorry it's taken so long- RL's been pretty rough for the last few months, with mountains of professional, personal and family turmoil to deal with, but I've finally managed to get **Wizard's Blessing** back up and running, and I'll try to update it on at least a monthly basis from here on in. A few of you have asked questions about what sort of FF this'll be, and whether it'll simply be copying canon and replacing Kazama with Harry. To which I can firmly say that it most certainly shall not, seeing as how Harry isn't Kazama; as showcased in his interactions with the other adventurers and townfolk thus far, and in the courses of action which Harry decides to take, which have already diverged considerably from Kazama's. And for those who've voiced concerns about Hermoine getting included so that she can be her stereotypical fanfic Mary Sue self, and who might be worried that this fanfic might fall into the tired old 'Perfect Harmony' tropes- please let me reassure you that you have nothing to worry about. And that you should hopefully be pleasantly surprised by what I'm planning to do with her, and with the role which I'm planning to eventually have Hermione play._

 _This Harry died at the end of Book 3, and is 14 years old, so his premature death in his own world's taught him that he can't just go suicide-charging into every situation on impulse-, at least, to some extent. But he's still Harry, and still has plenty more to learn about the consequences of recklessness. On that note, I'm also planning to introduce another fairly obvious aspect of the KonoSuba world which Kazama either failed to realize, or chose to completely avoid on account of his shut-in, risk-averse mindset. In these fantasy RP games, of the type that KonoSuba seems to be, what happens when you embark upon those longer, higher-difficulty side quests which you can pick up at the first guild/inn you arrive at, those which take you beyond the limits of the town or city which you start the game in for the first time? What's the real purpose of these side quests, in-game? XP, loot and money can all be gained by embarking upon them, sure- but their true purpose is that they provide routes to introduce new characters, and potentially add them as party members._

 _I'm expanding the lore a little bit, and I'm also planning to have a few OCs in this fanfic, one of whom's already been introduced- Yadorigi, who you'll probably know better as the unnamed "newbie/loli succubus" from canon. When it comes to risk-taking, Harry's practically the polar opposite of Kazama; he won't hesitate to recklessly accept far more dangerous and difficult quests early on. And in doing so, he'll encounter new OCs, some of whom could potentially be added to the mix as party members. Not to mention that Harry's also a few years younger, far friendlier and more outgoing than Kazama, who never once asks a single person their name unless he's confronting them in a fight. So, I'm going to add an SYOC element to this fanfic as well- help me out by sending a few OCs, even if they're just vague outlines, and I'll see what I can do with them._

 _Since Harry's more than willing to recruit people from outside his immediate friend circle to his cause, as shown when he assembles the DA- with the inclusion of Luna Lovegood as a core member showing that he's also far more willing to enthusiastically accept weirdos who have a few screws loose- Harry's party'll definitely have more members than Kazama's party of four, though I'll still probably stick to D &D rules and cap it at no more than six permanent members. And there's something else which I've been seriously pondering, which I wanted to ask the readers- would it be plausible for Darkness to still be a full-time, permanent member of Harry's party in this AU? Because Harry isn't Kazama; and I have doubts about whether Harry could be cruel, uncaring and sadistic enough to keep Darkness fully invested, without going a long way OOC. What do you lot think?_


	4. Let The Adventuring Begin!

**Chapter 4: Let The Adventuring Begin!**

That succubus girl, Yadorigi's, tip about that merchant and his caravans had been on point- those caravans had been there in the yard, just like she'd said they'd be, loaded to the brim. And there hadn't been two guards standing watch either. There'd only been one lone night guard, and with the helmet and full set of armor that he'd been wearing, Harry would've fancied his chances of sneaking past the guy even without his Invisibility Cloak. Though some of them had been packed full of stuff which didn't seem like it'd be that valuable at all- like the biggest one, that'd been stuffed which looked like frogs' legs, if those frogs had been the size of cars- he'd quickly found the jackpot, that caravan full of jewelry, gems and other sparkly trinkets. The walls of the merchants' estate hadn't been as tall or imposing as those of the first manor house where he and Yadorigi had bumped into one another, but he'd still had a bit of a hard time climbing back over and out of the place whilst keeping himself and the lot of it safely concealed under his Invisibility Cloak. He'd ended up having to drop most of it in the bushes the first time, jumping back over twice to carry the rest over, before making his clean and quiet getaway, vanishing into the night (what was left of it, anyway) with the loot.

His midnight marauding caper had worked out perfectly. But the mission still hadn't been completed- he still had to sell the stuff off, rake in as much cash as he could get for it, and just as importantly, do it without Aqua cottoning on. Say what you would about Ron, but even though he and his family had been piss-poor, he'd never, ever asked for Harry for cash, and always paid his own way. He'd been a proper friend. Aqua, though? Harry shook his head, remembering how she'd been when he'd gotten his first paycheck from their dead-end construction job. He'd already been clued in out early on, from Aqua's refusal to wear panties, or to even to admit that she wasn't; the goddess was totally shameless. And however much Aqua loved to put on airs and lord it over people, she seemed to be able to toss away all of her pride and dignity at the drop of a hat. If she found out about the windfall from his night's work, well, he wouldn't get any peace until she'd scrounged it all off him, until she'd frittered it all away. No- if he was gonna make this dosh last, he'd have to keep her in the dark about just how much he'd gotten his hands on. And to that end, he'd made sure to wake up as early as possible, at the crack of dawn, so that he could get up and get out of the stable before Aqua awoke.

He'd only gotten three hours of sleep last night at the very most, and probably more like two hours, before he'd dragged himself back out of bed (such a short spell of time that the renewed transfiguration hadn't even worn off, which was a first), sneaking back out to go get cleaned up at the public bath, get dressed and head off into town; making his way straight to the promenade with a sack full of all of the bootlegged contraband which he'd stolen last night, to flog it off for as much as he could get. Which had turned out to be a heck of a lot more dosh than even his most optimistic expectations, with the loot from his impromptu heist just so happening to be even more valuable than he'd hoped- not just in its monetary value either, but in its magical value as well. The jewelry, along with a lot of the gems which he'd reckoned would be worth the most, like the diamonds, rubies and emeralds, he'd ended up having to pawn off for a fair bit less than he would've liked. But plenty of the other gemstones, including several that he'd considered leaving behind to lighten his load- even semi-precious ones like opals, tiger's eyes, moonstones, bloodstones, garnet, rose quartz, amethysts, turquoise, amber, pearls and jade, the kind which they'd sold in the shop at the Natural History Museum back in London- had been so sought after that there'd been bidding wars over them, and they'd more than made up for it.

He'd been scratching his unruly head of hair over it at first, but with a bit of digging, he'd soon found out why they were so much more valuable in this world. Apparently, they all had different special magical properties, and could be used for all sorts of boosts- healing, magical resistance, psychic resistance, luck, intelligence, wisdom, morale... Even stuff like increasing fertility, sexual libido (he'd pawned off the quartz, garnet and jasper stones as fast as he could after finding that out, and it was only after getting rid of them all that he'd finally managed to banish the raging hard-on which he'd been suffering from since his stimulating close encounter with Yadorigi)- and alcohol tolerance. Strolling down the road at a leisurely pace, deftly side-stepping to let a couple of little kids playing tag run past, Harry twirled the brand new hand-crafted necklace pendant around his finger a couple of times, tossing it up into the air, and snatching it out of the sky on its way back down, clutching it firmly in the palm of his hand.

He'd saved the largest of his amethysts for it, and tried his best to imbue it with a decent bit of magical power. The perfect gift, specially made with his goddess in mind. And one which should (Harry crossed his fingers, reaching into his pocket to touch the holly wood of his trusted wand) have the extremely useful ability to reduce her prodigious consumption of alcohol, courtesy of that amethyst, or so he'd heard. Not to mention the touted intelligence and intuition boosts, both of which Aqua was in dire need of. He doubted that it'd make much of a difference- this was Aqua he was talking about, after all- but still, even a tiny bit of either'd still be an improvement for Aqua, and every little helped. And hey, maybe those other secondary properties he'd heard about, of helping to treat depression, prevent mood swings, and relieve stress, wouldn't be totally wasted on the goddess.

Speaking of the goddess though, he'd been looking around town for her for the past half hour, dropping by that take-away stall where she'd been working part-time as well as popping into all of the pubs where they'd been going to pull pints over the past week, and he hadn't seen hide nor hair of her anywhere. Not like she was hard to miss either, what with that bright blue hair, that raiment, and those clothes she wore. Especially with that miniskirt. That _arse_ … Harry shook his head to snap himself out of it, gritting his teeth in irritation at the direction his trail of thoughts had drifted off in. Anyhow, if she wasn't up and about town by now, there was only one place left that she could be- back at the stables. But at this time of day? You had to be having a laugh. Course, if she wasn't, she could be over at the public bath. Scrubbing away with the soap, _lathering it up all over her boo_ … Letting out a frustrated growl, Harry slapped himself in the face. And did it a couple of times more for good measure, until he'd managed to clear away that mental image, drawing funny looks from a fair few passing pedestrians.

Still, though, who'd have thought that Magical Crystology was a thing, huh? _D'uh, Hermione would've known_ \- if she was there with him, Hermione would have probably taken her cue to start giving a lengthy lecture about the ancient magical art of Crystology, packed chock-full of quotes from whatever books in the Hogwarts library or Flourish and Blotts she'd read up about it in, the same way that she'd prattled on and on last year to try and convince him and Ron about how special and amazing the subjects of Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were. But still, he was pretty sure that it hadn't been a thing in the magic of his own world. Back there, it'd all been about the magical qualities of different types of wood, since that's what wands were made of. Though, each Hogwarts House did have its own special gemstone as well, in the House Point Hourglasses. So maybe Crystology could've been a thing back there. And come to think of it, the Sword of Gryffindor had had all of those gleaming, glowing round rubies set into its hilt as well, hadn't it? Which, come to think of it, probably weren't rubies at all. Scratch that- he knew what they had to be now, and they definitely _hadn't_ been rubies. Harry shifted the weight of the adventurer's rucksack slung over his left shoulder, reaching back to give it a pat and assure himself that all the stuff in it was still there.

Including the three glowing, round, ruby-red manatite crystal orbs which he'd decided to keep for himself, after having sold off the other seven he'd stolen for almost as much as all of the rest of his loot put together; around one hundred and fifty _thousand_ Eris _each_ , bringing the total sum of cash he'd made from that morning's trade up to just over two _million_ Eris. Understandably so too, given that what they'd said about them supplementing the magical strength, endurance and power of any spellcasters- enough to even let _muggles_ cast spells with them, drawing upon the magical cores of the manatite crystals even if they didn't have magical cores of their own! And that the manatite crystals' magical cores could even get stronger, if the magic that passed through them was powerful enough? Those gems in the Sword of Gryffindor, they'd been manatite, had to be. And as Harry turned off the main road, crossing over the ditch and making his way down the path that led back to the stable, he was already conjuring up a plan for how he'd put these three orbs he'd decided to hold onto to good use.

It was too bad that he hadn't been able to bring the Sword of Gryffindor with him to this world. But thanks to these, it wouldn't matter all that much. He'd soon see to it that it'd have a worthy successor in this world. A mighty magical blade of his own, with which to smite down the evil Devil King. Or maybe two, or even three, using each manatite jewel to forge a magical weapon of its own… With the freshly dropped horse muck on the dirt road getting a bit too thick to pick out a clear route through, Harry drew out his wand, slashing and parrying with it like a pretend-sword to make light work of banishing the squidgy piles of shite away, clearing the path of it until it was clean and pristine once more. For the last time- there'd be no more drudgery or nine-to-five work duties for him, not any more. Nor any of this malarkey, being saddled with the task of keeping these overstocked stables spic-and-span just to convince the stingy, penny-pinching moany old git who owned this place to let him and Aqua spend their nights squatting in them, sleeping on an old haystack in the corner. Nope- thanks to last night's marauding efforts, and his newly won small fortune of just over two million Eris, it was high time to move out of this dump and into the Adventurers' Guild Inn. High time to start getting to his real work, of venturing out into this big wide magical world and clearing these lands of monsters and evildoers.

 _And high time for this lazy, bone-idle sleepyhead to wake up already_ , Harry thought to himself as he strode in through the gate to enter the stable, to be greeted by the sight of the blue-haired goddess still laying there sprawled out on the haystack, snoring away to her heart's content, with a long, glistening line of drool dribbling from the corner of her mouth, running all the way down the side of her face beneath her ear. Aqua's PJs were by far the most decent, modest items of clothing she'd ever worn, with full-length sleeves on her pyjama top and full-length legs on her pyjama bottoms. Or at least, they should've been. Would've been, if her top hadn't gotten pulled up in her sleep to leave her belly fully exposed, and if she ever bothered to wear underwear. Instead of leaving it so that the twin peaks of her nipples visibly poked up from beneath, and for that visible crease to form between her legs when the bottoms hitched up into her crotch, like they were now.

Taking a seat on the creaky, slightly wonky wooden stool in the far corner, Harry tapped away impatiently with his fingers, his right eye starting to twitch a bit from staring a bit too hard for too long, with the great big dark circles under his eyes from his lack of sleep last night only serving to further accentuate the dark and sullen scowl on his face. Muttering " _Tempus_ ", to check the time, Harry groaned at the sight of just how late it already was, how much of the day had already been wasted. _Alright, enough of this_. She'd had more than enough sleep already; it was time to bloody well wake up, whether she liked it or not. "Aqua? Aqua!"

With his wand in hand, Harry pointed it at the sleeping Goddess, trying to think of a fitting spell that'd wake her up without being too harsh or over the top, and it only took a sec or two to decide upon the perfect choice. " _Aguamenti_." A stream of water gushed out from the tip of his wand with the force of a garden hose, arcing across the stable to drench Aqua from head to toe in a matter of seconds. _If that doesn't wake her up_ … It didn't. Harry's short-lived smirk was swiftly wiped away, the irritated twitch in his eye returning with a vengeance, when Aqua's only response was to let out a little chuckle in her sleep, with dimples appearing on her cheeks as the the corners of her gaping mouth turned upward a bit, before she simply rolled over on her side and curled herself up, with the din of her snoring getting even louder than it had been before. _What the-_ He'd just doused her with a bucket-load of cold water, for crying out loud! Might as well have tossed a soft, warm blanket over her and tucked her in instead, for all the good _that_ did…

He supposed that that it did sort of make sense, seeing as how she was a water goddess and all, that she'd sleep better when she was 'in her element', soaked to her skin. Still didn't make it, _her_ , any less annoying. Guess that ruled out any attempts to wake her up with a splash then. And that he'd have to get rid of all of this water. If he was gonna stand a chance of awakening Aqua from her deep slumber. _Not_ because the water he'd conjured had turned Aqua's pyjamas semi-transparent, showcasing her current commando status for all to see… Averting his gaze, letting out a suffering sigh, Harry brandished his wand again, racking his brains to try and remember the right spell to use. He knew there was a spell to dry things off, he _knew_ there was- Hermione'd used it before, right in front of him, more than once. But he couldn't for the life of him remember the name, or the incantation. _Meh, screw it_. " _Siccitasia_!"

The grainy yellow sparkle of the drought charm loudly fizzled out from the end of his wand, striking the puddle which had spread out to cover most of the stable floor. A heartbeat later, it'd shrunk away to vanish without a trace, with the sodden, dripping haystack visibly drying out. Cripes, it hadn't been anywhere near this fast or strong when he'd seen Neville using it, tending to that _mimble-something-or-other_ warty pus-squirting cactus he'd gotten from his uncle. _Hope it's alright_ …

"GYAAAGH…!"

Aqua awoke with a ear-splitting screech of pain, rolling around in agony and sending strands of now tinder-dry straw flying everywhere, with a cloud of steam, or fog, billowing out of her like smoke from a bonfire. Aghast, Harry hastily dispelled the charm, rushing across to crouch alongside her. "What the heck? Crap- _Finite Incantem_! Sorry, sorry, so sorry… You alright, Aqua?"

Still shaking and quivering, with a few wisps of steam still rising off of her skin, Aqua sat up, groggily raising her head to stare up at him, and Harry grimaced at the sight. _No, she bloody well wasn't_. Her bewildered puppy-dog eyes would've been tearing up if they could, but right now, in her state, it didn't even look as if they could. They looked hollowed, gaunt, bloodshot and dried out, along with the rest of her face. Merlin, she looks like shit… _Shit. Using that spell on her was DANGEROUS, I could've mummified her_ _…_!

"Aaaah… Haaarrryyeee!?" Aqua slurred in a rasping voice, her head lolling from side to side. "Whaat haaaaapened?! What even was thaaaat…!?"

"D-dunno, beats me," Harry stuttered, looking away guiltily. "Looked like it really hurt though..."

"IT DIIIIID!" the fallen goddess wailed, clenching her eyes up and rubbing away at them in a desperate effort to cry properly. "It HUUURRT, it hurt SOOO MUCH! It aches everywhaaaah, and I'm so, sooooo thirsteeeeeee! Harry-san, Harry-saaan…!"

"Alright, alright," Harry muttered, tentatively patting her on the back. "Here, here, have some water…"

Fumbling about for the emptied liquor bottle Aqua'd been holding onto last night, Harry shoved the tip of his wand into it, wordlessly casting the _Aguamenti_ charm again to fill it up with water, and offered it to her. Snatching it away from him, Aqua went bottoms-up with the bottle, draining all of its contents in one go, then shoved it back in his face. "More! More!" Blinking to make sure that he wasn't seeing things, Harry watched the goddess' hollowed-out features visibly re-inflate to almost fill themselves back in properly, with her dry skin and hair regaining most of its moistness and lustre. "MOOORE!"

"It's coming, 'kay?" Harry cast the spell again to refill the bottle, and Aqua chugged it down, fully restoring her to her regular, beautiful self. Whew... Harry let out a long sigh of relief, letting go of most of his guilt about casting that spell on her along with it. _She's fine, it's fine, everything's fine_ …

Not just fine, but back to normal. Aqua flopped back down to lie spread-eagled on top of what was left of the haystack, shoving the bottle back in his face. "Shtill thirstee. Need more. To get, back to sleeeep…"

"Oh no, don't you even think about nodding off again! It's past one o' clock! You've already been slumbering away for thirteen- no, fourteen hours straight! Rise and shine, sleepy head. We've got stuff to be getting on with. Important stuff!"

"Haaah…!" Aqua cut him off with a loud yawn, stretching her arms out. "It can't be _that_ important. I wanted to have a lie-in, seeing as how we don't even have to go to our construction jobs today…"

"You mean, MY construction job. Not 'ours'. And yeah, this is a hell of a lot more important than that crummy dead-end job. Today, we're going to go register at the Adventurer's Guild, get on with what we came here to do."

"Hmm?" Aqua stared at him blankly, with a confused 'what are you talking about' expression on her face.

"Er, hello- defeating the Devil King? Saving this world from pillage and ' _slaughter!_ ' Ring any bells?"

"Ooh, _that_! I remember now. I totally forgot, immersed in the joy of working...!" Harry managed to stop himself from offering up a barbed retort, but couldn't hold back his derisory snort. "Have you got a cold? But yeah, if you don't defeat the Devil King, I'll never be able to go back! Don't worry, Harry- you can count on me!"

"I should hope so. So come on then- you getting up or not?"

"Still parched though. Could I have another drink first? Pleeease?"

"Tell you what, I'll buy you a drink at the tavern when we get there, 'kay…?"

Harry regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth, but it was too late now. And hey, at least it worked- Aqua leaped up in a flash, snatched up her regular clothes and her raiment, and made a mad dash for the exit. "Yay! Let's go, go, go! Come on Harry, time's a-wasting…!"

"Whoa, hold up!" Harry called out, chasing after her. "Aqua! Wait! I've got a present for you too! Look! A lovely magical necklace, made specially for you…!"

* * *

The receptionist with the wavy blonde hair leaned forwards across the counter as they walked up to it, her massive boobs jutting out over the edge. "Hello, Harry. I see you're back- and you've found Aqua too! Does that mean that you're ready to register together, Harry…?"

"Yes, I'm Harry Potter, and yes, we are. So, is there anything we need to do, like, filling in forms or…?"

"Oh, no, no," the counter lady- _Luna, that was her name_ \- reassured him. "You already paid earlier, for both of your registration fees and for tonight's lodgings, so I've already sorted out all of the paperwork."

"Eh? Tonight's lodgings?"

"Yes, Aqua," Harry said, slowly and loudly, rolling his eyes. "No more sleeping on haystacks in the stables. We're moving in here instead."

"Wow. You really can be capable and reliable after all, Harry…" Aqua stared at him with newfound respect in her eyes, for a few fleeting moments, before assuming her airs of grandeur again. "I trust that you booked us into the most luxurious, opulent room available, one befitting of a Goddess such as myself?"

"No, I got two single rooms. Private rooms. One for you, and one for me."

"Hmmph. OOH…" A slight blush creeping onto her cheeks, Aqua smiled teasingly, turning away to face her plump, half-exposed bum toward him, wiggling it from side to side. "I mean, you _are_ a teenage boy, and I _know_ you rustle around beside me at night sometimes, so I _totally_ understand why you'd want to get a _private_ room, somewhere you can do your _private_ business priva- _mmph_?!"

"Okay, okay! We get it, okay? Merlin…!" His face bright red from embarrassment, with his hand clasped over her mouth to shut her up, Harry whipped around, his eyes darting around to scour the place for anyone who looked like they might've been eavesdropping. Thankfully the other three counters were empty, and there was a bit of a commotion going on over by the bar which had caught the attentions of most of the other people in the Guild Tavern, with no-one looking his way, so it looked as though no-one had overheard Aqua's words. Well, no-one except for Luna the receptionist lady, who'd stood back and stayed out of the exchange between them, but who didn't seem to be willing to look either him or Aqua in the eye any more. _Great, just great. Stupid goddess_ _…_ "Mind if we move this along?"

"O-oh, right. I already explained all of this to you earlier, Harry, but I still have explain it all to Aqua. Since you said you want to become adventurers, you should have some level of understanding, but I'll explain it from the start… First, adventurers are responsible for the extermination of monsters wandering outside the town, people who get rid of dangerous creatures that might harm the citizens. They're also jacks-of-all-trades, taking on odd jobs that require their talents. Collectively known as adventurers are people who earn a living this way. And among adventurers, there are different jobs."

Straining to reach down beneath the counter, pushing her boobs up against her cheeks, Luna pulled out a couple of cards about the size of passports, and handed one each to the two of them, with Harry releasing the hand he'd had clasped over Aqua's mouth to take it. Looking at it, it seemed to be a kind of identification card, with stuff written on it that had to be filled in.

"Please look over here; do you see the word 'Level'? As both of you know, all things in the world have souls no matter what form it takes. If you eat or kill a being, you can absorb a part of the memory of the soul, known as 'Experience Points'.

Huh? They did? And you could do that? But- _what?! How_ … _?_ Stunned, unsure whether to believe her or not, Harry stared at her, and at Aqua. Who was also staring at Luna, nodding mechanically every few seconds, but with her eyes glazed over, and that zoned-out 'I don't get it' expression fixed on her face again. Walking around to their side of the counter, the receptionist continued, pointing out different sections on the card. Adjusting his spectacles, Harry held it up to his face, squinting to try and read the tiny lettering fast enough to keep up with her.

"Experience Points are normally intangible things, but with this card, the Experience Points which the adventurer absorbs will be shown, here. At the same time, the level corresponding to your experience points will be displayed, here. This shows how strong an adventurer is, and how many enemies you've defeat will also be recorded, here. With the accumulation of experience points, all creatures will grow stronger rapidly at some point, known as 'Leveling Up'. Simply put, Leveling Up will grant you all sorts of benefits, such as skill points, which will enable you to instantly learn new skills. So please, work hard to increase your level."

Stepping to aside, Luna gestured to the magical device behind her- a large, shiny crystal ball, pretty much the same colour as Aqua's hair, elevated above the work surface in some clockwork-looking gears, with some sort of array that kind of resembled a ray-gun mounted underneath. "Now, both of you, please hold your hands over this crystal. This will display the strength of each of your abilities for reference to choosing your job. After accumulating skill points, you can learn skills that are available to your position. This is one of the key points in choosing occupations."

"Sure, thanks… Go on, then, Aqua. Ladies first."

Aqua snapped out of her trance, his words registering to tune her back in. "Oh, of course!" Tossing her flowing hair back to cascade over her shoulders, Aqua confidently marched up to the counter, with a swagger in her step, and placed her hand on the crystal ball, which started glowing in response, sending all of the magical mechanical gears spinning this way and that. Snatching the card away from her, Luna hastily managed to slot it into place beneath the crystal ball just in time, before a laser started shooting out from that pointer and etching out the details onto it. _Guess they don't bother with magic quills in this world then_ …

"EEH! WOW- What's with these crazy numbers!?" Luna shouted out at the top of her voice, staring at Aqua's card in amazement. "Leaving aside your lower than average intelligence, and luck that's at rock bottom, the rest of your stats drastically exceed the average! They're abnormally high! Especially your magic, it's off the scale! W-Who in the world are you…!?"

Luna's exclamation echoed throughout the Guild, and soon had the place in an uproar, with several people getting up from their tables and walking over to see what was going on.

"Ah, is that right? Does that mean I'm really amazing?"

"A-Amazing is an understatement! This is way beyond amazing! Mage-type classes, which require high intelligence, are out of the question, but other than that, you could be anything you want! A Crusader, with the strongest defence of any Holy Knight; Sword Master, the swordsman with the strongest attack; Arch-Priest, the top-tier cleric… Nearly any top-tier advanced class, right from the start!"

Aqua looked ecstatic, almost bashful as a few of the adventurers in the guild started pointing at her. Course, it didn't come as much of a surprise, not to Harry. No matter how harebrained she might be, she was still supposed to be a goddess. "Ehehe- I see! Well, it's a shame that there's no 'goddess' occupation, but in my case, I suppose I'll be an Arch-Priest who heals her allies!"

"An Arch-Priest! An almighty class which commands all recovery and support magic, and which boasts enough strength to stand as vanguards on the front lines!"

A round of loud, raucous cheers went up from the large crowd that had gathered around them, with several adventurers excitedly chatting to one another about her, calling out to her.

"Starting off as an Arch-Priest is incredible!"

"Someone like you might actually be able to defeat the Devil King, you reckless girl!"

All of the other people who worked over on this side of the Guild came out from behind their desks, standing in line alongside Luna, who pulled Aqua's card from its slot and handed it back to her with a pleasant smile.

"Here you go- Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild, Aqua-sama! All of our staff will be looking forward to your grand exploits!"

With a round of polite applause, the other staff members started walking away, the clamor starting to die down a bit with the other adventurers starting to make their way back to their tables… Wait, weren't all of these lot forgetting something? Some _one_?

"Ah-hem." Harry cleared his throat, brandishing his own card. "Isn't it my turn?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, of course. Please, go ahead and touch the crystal."

 _Would've been nice not to have to do this in front of such a large audience_ , Harry thought to himself, with the crowd around them going all quiet as he stepped forward, fitted his card into the slot and placed his hand gingerly on top of the crystal, He'd already been tense enough before, but now there was so much tension and anticipation in the air that you could cut it with a butter knife. Not to mention the heavy weight of expectation, right after Aqua with her out-of-this-world godly stats… Leaning in to look at his card when the magical laser beam started filling in the details, Luna looked over it.

"… All right, let's see. Potter Harry-san, right…?"

"Harry Potter. Yes, I'm Harry Potter…"

"Well, your strength and vitality are fairly average. A bit below average, actually. Intelligence's slightly better than average. Your agility and speed are both fairly high, though they're not especially relevant for adventurers… Oh, wow! You've got the highest luck stat I've ever seen! It isn't very relevant for adventurers, but with your luck so high, and your speed and agility are both high as well, perhaps you'd be better off giving up on being an adventurer and joining the nearest Thieves' Guild instead? Although, wait- your magic's also extremely high! Not as high as Aqua-sama's, but still abnormally high, about as high as that Arch-Wizard girl who came last week… EEH?! What- HOW?! This, this is…!"

Letting out a loud gasp, Luna stared back and forth between him and his card, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

"What? What is it?" Harry asked, fidgeting nervously. "Nothing bad, is it?"

"Oh, no, quite the contrary! It's just that, that- you already have so many experience points, so many skills points! So many! For a new adventurer, starting out here in Axel, the town of Beginning Adventurers!? It's unheard of!" Murmurs echoed through the crowd around them.

"Really? So, does that mean I'm special then?"

"Definitely! There are dozens, hundreds, of Adventurers who'd never get so many points over the course of their entire careers! B-but, Harry-sama, you're so young! Only just fourteen, barely an adult- just how many deadly foes must you have already defeated, for you to have so much experience!?"

"Hmmm…" Harry rubbed at the lightning-bolt shaped scar on his head absent-mindedly, thinking back on his past adventures in his past life. "Not that many. Only a few that come to mind. Although, come to think of it- if they're like, really super-powerful, do they give you more experience?" A few laughs rang out at his question, and Luna smiled.

"Well, yes. A lot more, naturally…"

"Right, so that's how it works… Must've been from a couple of years ago then, that thing with the Chamber of Secrets. Back when I was twelve, in my second year, there was this evil, cursed diary, one which had belonged to Lord Volde- I mean, this really powerful, really evil Dark Warlock. Anyhow, this dark wizard, one of the guy's followers, slipped the diary into my best friend's little sister's cauldron when we were out shopping together, and which started possessing her over the course of the year. Draining away her life force, so that it could make itself a new body and then go take over the world. But eventually, we managed to found out about it, traced down the long-lost location of the Chamber of Secrets, and raced down there, below the dungeons, to stop it and save her. But I had to deal with Slytherin's Monster first, with the Basilisk- this massive, thousand year old, thirty foot long serpent, with these magical eyes that'd instantly kill anyone who caught sight of them, along with magical venom that was deadly enough to dissolve pretty much anything. Managed to prove that I was worthy to pull this long-lost, ancient goblin-forged magical sword out of its original owner's magic hat, then when it bared its fangs at me to strike, slayed the Basilisk by driving the sword in through the roof of its mouth, stabbing its brains out. One of its fangs had come out in the struggle, and it was still filled with that deadly venom, so I picked it up and stabbed the cursed diary with it, killing it just in time to save the girl, to save Ginny. I mean, the Headmaster's pet phoenix did help a lot, but I was the one who killed both the Diary and the Basilisk, so- yeah. That was pretty fun. Good times, good times…"

Harry smiled broadly, fondly reminiscing on the looks on Malfoy and the other Slytherins' face when he and Ron had been awarded those 400 points for killing off their monster, snatching the House Cup away from them for the second year in a row. Still wrapped up in going through the adventures of his past life, trying to think of anything else which might've given him experience points. Harry was completely oblivious to the near-total silence that'd fallen over the packed Adventurers' Guild, and the fact that pretty much everyone in the place, Aqua included, was staring at him with their mouths agape, dumbfounded. _Anything you've killed, huh?_

"Oh, and before that, that same year, it might've counted all of those Acromantula which got run over as well, in the Forbidden Forest- giant monster spiders? But all I did was sit in the driver's seat when the Ford Anglia was driving itself, so it probably didn't. Guess the Giant Troll might've counted as well, back in my first year- bashed its head in with its own club, never gave it a second thought, but I guess it could've died. Oh, and Quirrell- one of my teachers, who was being possessed by a shade of that Dark Warlock, of Lord Voldemort! He was trying to get his hands on the Philosopher's Stone, to resurrect himself that way, but we raced to stop him, and when he tried to kill me, he couldn't lay a finger on me! Burned him up when he tried to, cause of the protection my mum gave me when she sacrificed her life to protect me from him the first time, back when I was only…"

Harry trailed off. Of course- Merlin, it was so obvious…!

"D'uh, Lord Voldemort! That's what it is! He came after me when I was a baby, cause of this prophecy that said that I was the Chosen One, destined to defeat him- killed both my parents, and turned his wand on me in my cot, but his killing curse rebounded onto him instead, giving me this scar and practically killing him! _That's_ why I could sense him, why the scar would ache whenever he was near or whenever he got angry- cause I absorbed a part of the memory of the soul, got his experience points, same as if I'd properly killed him! Hah! It all makes sense now… Luna?"

"Y-yes?" Startled, the receptionist jumped, her over-sized boobs jiggling a bit when she did. Or was she? It almost looked like she was a bit scared. Harry turned his head, craning his neck to take a look at the strangely quiet crowd of adventurers gathered around them. There were a few of them who looked a bit intimidated as well. Seemed like the circle around them had gotten bigger too- hadn't they been standing a lot closer when he'd started talking…?

"Just how many experience points do I have then? How many did I get from that, from him?"

"E-Enough to give you more than a hundred skills points, right from the very start!" The announcement broke the crowd's near-silence, sending the place into uproar.

"Holy Eris! Over a hundred…!"

"That's amazing…!"

"This kid's the real deal, I tell ya…!"

Basking in the glow of all of the praise and the hype, even though being the Boy Who Lived meant that he'd experienced being the centre of attention like this a couple of times before, Harry couldn't help but break out into a wide grin, his chest swelling with pride. And his grin widened even more when he glanced across in Aqua's direction, to see that she was pouting sulkily.

"Right from the beginning," Luna continued, "You could be almost any advanced class, and instantly gain a full mastery! It looks as though you've got quite a few skills listed on your card already, including several which I've never seen before… Those ones don't seem to have skill point requisites on the system either, which is very strange. But you've also got a number of others, including thief, mage, cleric, swordsman, and ranger type skills. So if you picked one class, you'd lose all of the other potential skills, presenting quite the dilemma…"

"Well, I _am_ a Wizard," Harry stated proudly, "but I'd like to take a look at all those skills first, maybe try a few of them out. Isn't there a job class that allows you to combine them together?"

"Well, yes, the Adventurer Class, but…"

"Well then, I'm going to be an Adventurer!" Harry announced, raising his fist in the air. The raucous cheering from the crowd around them died down, concern flickering across the counter lady's face. "What?"

"Nothing! It's fine. After leveling up, raising your stats and selecting which skills you want to keep, you can change your job anyway! In addition, the adventurer job is like its definition, it's a combination of all jobs. That's right, it might be a basic level job, but it doesn't mean it's worse than others are! Adventurers can learn and use the skills of all jobs after all!"

"On the other hand, you'll need more skill points to learn skills. And without the bonus attribute of the actual job, your skills will be weaker when compared to them. It's a jack of all trades, master of none." Finding her voice again, Aqua spoke up to try and shoot him down, the corners of her lips starting to pique up again. She wouldn't fool him; she was just jealous, that's what it was.

"I'll do that, Luna. Adventurer it is. For now, anyway."

"Then, without any further ado…" Luna filled it in on his card, pulling out from under the crystal ball and handing it over to him. "Welcome to the Adventurer's Guild, Harry-san! And Aqua-sama! We expect great things from the both of you, great things indeed!"

Luna, along with all the other staff members who'd come back out and lined up alongside her again, raised their hands together in a show of support, prompting another round of cheers and applause from the crowd, before it started to disperse. But Harry wasn't done yet. He'd been sent to this world by the gods, to defeat the Devil King, along with all of his followers, demons and monsters! And there was no time like the present. _Let's get this show on the road then, shall we_?

"Hey, Luna!" Harry called out, catching her in her stride on her way back around to the other side of the counter. "Got any decent quests nearby which we can do today, straight away, that we'll be able to get back here from before dark?"

"Oh, let me see…" Luna turned to look up at the nearest clock, placed high up on the wall right in front of the entrance to the Guild just beneath the mounted head of what looked like a cross between a troll and a wild boar, which was saying that it was almost a quarter to three. "It is rather late, and the forests near town were cleared of monsters a long time ago. But it is the start of mating season for the Giant Toads, so they should be starting to pop up on the open plains and farmlands about now. It's a standard starter's quest, at five thousand Eris for each one…"

"Great! We'll take it. Come on, Aqua- let's go!"

"B-but wait!" Luna called out, ruffling around in the papers behind her counter, pulling out a sheet and waving it at them. "I haven't finished! Don't you want the information sheet?"

"Nah, don't worry. We can handle a bunch of Giant Toads, no problem. Piece of cake- isn't that right, Aqua?" Harry stopped in the doorway, holding it open and beckoning for Aqua to follow him. With that smug, supremely confident smile of hers returned to Aqua's face as well, she tucked her Adventurer's Card away for safekeeping (between her boobs, since she didn't have any pockets, and it wouldn't be glamorous for a Goddess to carry a purse or a handbag), preening her hair and skipping across to join him.

"Oh, undoubtedly! All right, let's go kill some frogs! Don't worry; it'll be a breeze with me here! Look forward to my performance!"

"Sure will, Aqua. You're a goddess after all, so I'll be counting on you! Let's see what you can do- and don't think I'll be taking it easy either! Okay, let's do this…!"

"But- but…!" Luna made one last attempt to try and get their attention back, waving the Giant Toad Quest info sheet in the air, but it was too late; Aqua-sama and Potter Harry-san were already gone, the main door to the Guild swinging shut behind them. Their confidence wasn't unwarranted, not by a long shot; the two were by far the strongest pair of recruits that the Adventurer's Guild had ever had, so far as she knew. Far more powerful, and with far greater potential, than even Kyouka Mitsurugi-san had had back when he'd registered. But still, going on that quest, after the Giant Toads, without so much as even the most basic of weapons, armour or equipment? She knew there was no real reason to worry herself about them, none at all. But try as she might, she couldn't help but feel a little uneasy…

* * *

 _So here we are, back again with another chapter of **Wizard's Blessing**! RL's still rough- rougher than ever, TBH- but still managed to make the deadline, as promised. First things first- Harry's loaded now, thanks to his famed thievery skills and his magnificent good fortune. A lot more wealthy than he realizes too- BTW, Harry actually fluffed his maths pretty badly on estimating the currency exchange rate (understandably, given that he's only barely educated in maths up to primary school level, and hasn't studied it at all for three years)- one Sickle's actually roughly equivalent in value to five Eris (/Yen), not one, and one Galleon equates to roughly 100 Eris. So he actually has five times as much wealth as he thinks he does (on account of the drinks they serve in Hogsmeade's pubs being far less expensive). _

_He's also nearly there with his theory about why he has so many experience points, and on the right track with his impromptu theory about the experience points and his soul link with Lord Voldemort being connected, but not quite on the mark- since his soul died via the Dementor's Kiss in this AU, and got devoured Horcrux-and-all, he still has that Horcrux (might do a interconnected one-shot later on in the story, from the soon-to-be resurrected Lord Voldemort's perspective, bemoaning the bizarre, maddening visions he's been being plagued with, seemingly from beyond the grave, of Harry's experiences in the other world), along with a full seventh (or eighth, once he uses Nagini for his seventh Horcrux) of all the experience points which Lord Voldemort racks up. In addition to those which he garnered himself through his own efforts- most notably, the other Horcrux of the diary, giving him another seventh of Lord Voldemort's XP, and the millennia-old Basilisk._ _All of these things considered, I felt that it was a pretty safe bet for Harry to start off with at least twice as many experience and skills points as Megumin did, back when she started out._

 _But just like Megumin, he's still started at level 1 in spite of all the XP he's racked up beforehand, and he'll have to work his way up from there from here on in. Is this Harry OP? Certainly, without a shadow of a doubt; just like Aqua, Megumin, and to a lesser extent, Darkness are all incredibly OP characters, with OP stats and abilities. But we all know how things work out in the world of KonoSuba, especially when it comes to this party. Harry's a lot more bold, confident, headstrong and risk-seeking than Kazama ever was, and one of his defining character traits is that he charges into dangerous situations without a second thought. Giant Toads sound way easier to take on than Giant Spiders, and he didn't have any problem with those. He has his trusted wand, and he has a proper Goddess by his side to back him up- why would he need any other weapons, or armor, let alone Muggle ones? They're only Toads- how much of a challenge could they possibly be_ … _? ;)_


	5. Exploding Into Action!

**Chapter 5: Exploding into Action**

THUD. THUD. THUD.

"Stupefy!"

Running across the open pastures outside of town, as fast as he could, Harry sent another stunning spell over his shoulder at the two Giant Toads chasing him down, tossing a glance back at them just in time to see it skimming one of them. But yet again, like the last three times he'd managed to score hits, it was to no avail; the Giant Toad just ploughed straight through it, brushing it aside. He couldn't tell whether it'd even felt the impact, whether it even knew that it'd been hit. And when he said giant, he meant GIANT. They still looked just like regular toads, or frogs, but they were enormous- these bullfrogs were larger than actual bulls, the size of Land Rovers. If the force of the Frogs' thunderous, ground-shaking hops was anything to go by, they were probably about as heavy as Uncle Vernon's four wheel drive company car too, even when fully loaded with all of the Dursleys packed inside. And these damned Giant Toads seemed to be just as impervious to spells as proper Giants would've been. C'mon, think, _think_ …

"RIBBIT!"

"Oh, you've… got to be… KIDDING ME…!" Harry skidded in the mud, launching himself off to one side, and just about managing to avoid running headlong into the backside of yet another Giant Toad as it popped up out of the ground in front of him. Digging deep into his stamina, summoning a new burst of speed to try and get some distance between him and the newcomer before it turned around, Harry sprinted away. Away from the newly emerged lurid pink Giant Toad, away from the two other Giant Toads which were still hot on his heels, and away from the top of the small hill he'd been trying to make a beeline for- where Aqua was still just standing there at her leisure, sniggering and pointing at him.

"Puehehe! This is hilarious! Harry, your face's all red and your forehead's all sweaty! You look really desperate!"

 _I'm gonna make you pay for this_ …! Gasping for breath too much to waste any more of it yelling at the Goddess right now, Harry tossed an angry glare in Aqua's direction, shaking his fist at her. The Giant Toads weren't that fast; sprinting flat-out, he'd been able to outrun them, no problem. But they could still hop along faster than he could jog, covering at least ten feet in a single bound. Fast enough to force him to keep running, and running, and running. And they didn't stop, didn't give up on the chase- they just kept on coming, without any sign of slowing down or getting tired out. Which was more than he could say for himself. He could feel himself flagging, his feet starting to drag along the ground, his pace and his strength dropping away.

He wasn't this unfit, was he? No, that wasn't it. He could feel it getting worse, feel his limbs getting heavier and heavier. Just like back on the construction site. It wasn't just his body that was getting exhausted from the running; this was the magical fatigue starting to set in as well, and it was getting worse with every spell he chucked at the pursuing Giant Toads. So much worse that he wasn't even managing to out-run them now- he could hear them starting to close in on him, the thuds starting to get closer and closer each time they landed.

No two ways about it; firing off spells over his shoulders at random wasn't gonna cut it any more, not when he had to make every shot count… Doing an improvised running pirouette, spinning around in mid-step to face the two- no, there were three of them now, and the latest arrival had gotten ahead of the other two, trailing only a few giant frog-leaps behind him- Harry brought his wand to bear on his target, making sure that the Giant Toad was dead in his sights. Y _ou want a piece of me? Have it!_

"Stupefy!"

The red jet of light shot from the end of his wand, and this time, it struck true- dead-on, dead-centre, right between the bright pink one's great big bulgy frog-eyes. And did absolutely nothing- the Giant Toad didn't even blink. "Oh, COME ON!" Harry cried out, exasperated. All three of the Giant Toads obliged; launching themselves through the air, giving him a clear sight of their soft, fleshy, pot-bellied undersides…

"Impendimenta!"

 _…_ and slamming back down into the ground almost in unison, with the pink one still narrowly in the lead, barely twenty feet behind him. All three of them unperturbed, with the mottled brown one that'd just taken his Impediment Jinx to its stomach seemingly just as unaffected as the other two. WHY? _Why won't these oversized, amphibian monstrosities GO DOWN…?!_ Frustrated, Harry turned and ran again, pounding across the turf toward a small copse of trees on the field's edge, hoping to take cover or climb to safety there.

Aqua let out another loud burst of laughter. "Hehehe! So funny- come on, Harry! You said you'd take them all on your own- it's still your turn! That is, unless you're ready to pray for salvation?! Hmmm?"

"Never!" Harry shouted- or tried to, at any rate, rasping it instead. Glaring across at her, he found that the goddess was lying flat on her back now, chortling away, with both of her legs raised up high, her toes pointing towards the clear blue sky. Inadvertently giving him a clear view up her mini-skirt, with her lack of panties leaving her lady-bits full exposed, and her fair-skinned bared buttocks pointed right at him, practically shining in the glare of the sun like the face of the moon…

"Gah!" Not watching his step, Harry almost stumbled in a divot, staggering for a few steps, but he narrowly managed to catch himself, to avoid falling over. _She's doing that on purpose! Mooning me, trying to distract me- she has to be, I know she is! Damn her_ _…_ _!_

"Oakie dokie! Whenever you're ready to give up and step aside, just give me a holler, kay?" Bringing her legs back down, Aqua folded her arms behind her head, closing her eyes, lying back and soaking up the rays of the summer sun.

Gritting his teeth, Harry did his best to pick up the pace again, his fists pumping away like pistons- but he'd lost a decent bit of his lead over them, lost ground which he couldn't afford to lose…

SCHWIPP.

Something long, thin and glistening pink lashed past in Harry's fuzzy peripheral vision, so fast that it barely registered before it was gone again. But it was way too close for comfort, less than a metre away. _What the heck was that…?_

SCHWIPP.

Closer this time- right over his left shoulder and then back again in the blink of an eye, close enough to make him jump. Not just from the noise right in his ear, making a cracking sound almost like that of a whip, or from being startled by how close it'd come to hitting him in the back of the head; but also from the wet flecks of slimy saliva, splattering across his shoulder and the side of his face. _Oh, hell no_ …

One of the pursuing Giant Toads' tongues lashed out again, and Harry flung himself into a forward roll just in time to avoid it, but could smell the flecks of saliva on his face, like troll-booger scented hair gel. Another one of their prehensile tongues shot toward him, and he managed to escape getting snagged by ducking out of the way, but only barely. Desperate, still at least thirty feet away from reaching the trees, with his endurance flagging, Harry craned his neck to look at the pursuing Giant Toads, raising his wand against them again. Keeping it raised this time, as steady as he could whilst pelting for his life, holding off until the opportunity presented itself again.

It was a desperate gamble, a long shot at best, but maybe, just maybe, if he hit one of them when it was shooting its tongue out after him, hit it in its mouth- it just might work. And he was running out of other options. Wait for it, wait for it. _C'mon, open wide- I've got a tasty spell for you_ … The blotchy dark green one's mouth popped open, its long, deadly tongue shooting towards him. But he'd already sent his own spell on its way first, right down its throat. _Eat this_ …!

"IMPEDIMENTA!"

With its tongue lashing out towards him, Harry pivoted to face it side-on, side-stepping it and bending over backwards as far as he could, limboing underneath its tip when it whipped around on the way back, skimming barely an inch over the top of his chest. His spell still hadn't worked- the Giant Toad was still mobile, still just fine. And it was still hungry for fresh meat, just like the other two, with slime drooling from the corners of their broad mouths in anticipation of their meal. He was only twenty feet away from the trees now. Fifteen. But he didn't know if he'd make it. He was so tired; his legs were burning, burning, burning… _Wait. That was it_!

"Aaargh…!" One of their tongues streaked out again, and he couldn't leap out of the way far enough or fast enough to dodge it this time. Harry cried out as it thwacked into his left ankle, with the impact knocking his standing leg out from underneath him and sending him clattering to the ground. The mottled brown Giant Toad croaked in triumph, with its glistening prehensile tongue wrapping itself around his leg, tightening its grasp and preparing to reel him in…

"RELASHIO!" Harry shouted, sending a shower of fiery purple sparks spouting out from the end of his wand into the Giant Toad's extended tongue at point-blank range. Bellowing in pain, the brown Giant Toad immediately released its grip and rolled over into its back, with half the length of its scorched tongue still dangling limply outside of its mouth, large patches of it burnt black by the spell. And the other two Giant Toads stopped in their tracks, grinding to a halt a few metres short and warily sizing him up.

Harry fell down onto his knees, gasping for breath. He didn't know if his ankle was just sprained or torn, and he had a stitch in his side that felt as though he had a knife between his ribs, but there was no time to get rid of it; he could already see the shower of sparks starting to get a little bit smaller, the _Relashio_ 's area of effect slowly beginning to shrink. He didn't have much left in the tank. But now, he knew how to win this. _They don't like fire, huh? Too bad_. Dropping the Revulsion Jinx, using his other hand to prop up the elbow of his weary wand arm, Harry pointed it at the prostrate brown Giant Toad."INCENDIO!"

A jet of orange-red fire erupted out of his wand, with the stricken Giant Toad letting out a shrill, ear-piercing shriek of agony as it was engulfed by crackling flames. With one of their number being cooked alive, filling the air with its screams and with the mouth-watering smell of barbecue smoke, the other two Giant Toads started backing off. "So, who wants, to get, cooked next?" Harry panted, massaging his ribs.

Neither of them volunteered; exchanging glances with one another, both of the remaining Giant Frogs turned tail and fled for the hills, hopping away as fast as their legs could carry them. Too tired to get back up and pursue them, Harry sat back and watched them leave, with a broad grin pasted across his face. For all of a minute, before it fell away, at the realisation of where the two remaining frogs were heading off to, whose direction they were headed in.

"Hey, Aqua! AQUA!"

Still spreadeagled on her back, sunbathing atop the small hill, Aqua waved a hand in the air, making a peace sign. "Hmm? Ready for me to come save you, Harry? Why don't you start with adding '-sama' to the end of my name, huh?!"

"God, you're so annoying…! Aqua SAMA, watch out! They're coming…!"

"Ah well, guess it can't be helped–!" Aqua leaped to her feet, proudly puffing out her chest, wagging her finger and rambling on with her eyes half-closed, totally oblivious to the two Giant Toads closing in on her. "All right, I'll save you, wussy wizard! However, in return, you'd better worship this goddess from tomorrow onward! When we get back to town, you'll have to join the Axis sect and pray to me three times a day! You're not allowed to object when I take side dishes from you during meals either! In addition… Ugh?"

The blotchy green Giant Toad's tongue lashed out with the accuracy and speed of a harpoon, cutting the Goddess off in mid-sentence; in less time than it took to blink, Aqua had been snagged and dragged back down its gullet, with only her bright-blue thigh-high boots dangling out of the corner of its mouth.

Aghast, Harry shakily pulled himself back on his feet, doing his best to ignore the shooting pain whenever he put weight on his busted ankle, and started shakily staggering up the hill with all the pace he could muster, toward her and the Giant Toads. "NO! AQUA! DON'T GET EATEN…!"

The Giant Toad that'd eaten Aqua had stopped moving, with only one of the goddess's legs still sticking out of the Giant Toad's mouth now, going into spasms. The bright pink one stopped trying to snag onto her leg and steal her out of the other one's mouth, turning to flee again, but he wasn't going to let it get away again."INCENDIO!"

Tossing his incendiary spell after it as it leaped away, it hit the pink toad in mid-air, lighting it up like a torch. With his legs refusing to obey his commands any more, Harry collapsed in a heap. He could still just about move his wand hand, and dragging it across the ground, ignoring the squeals of the pink one's death throes, he adjusted its position to keep it fixed squarely on the last remaining Giant Toad. But he couldn't go ahead and char-grill this one like the other two, not with Aqua still inside of it! And it was still eating her, swallowing her whole! He had to get her out of there, get it to puke her up, but _how_ …?!

"Slugulus Erecto!" The jet of bright green light shot from his wand, striking the stationary Giant Toad in its stomach. And unlike all of the other spells he'd tried hitting them with earlier, the Giant Toad reacted to it instantly- with its fat belly visibly swelling up, it sat bolt upright, its cheeks puffing out like balloons, before finally reaching its limit; projectile-vomiting Aqua back out again in an eruption of slime and slugs.

With its eyes bulging wide open and rolling upward, and with the corners of its mouth piquing upwards as well to form a broad, contented smile, the Giant Toad remained planted firmly on the spot, with Harry grimacing at the sight of it puking up into its mouth, then gulping the free all-you-can-eat slug buffet straight back down into its stomach again just as quickly, over and over again. If he remembered it correctly, that hex wasn't supposed to wear off on its own for at least another hour or so. But right now, running on nothing but magical fumes, he didn't want to take the chance- best to deal with it straight away, wrap things up.

Aqua was still too close to it for him to send it up in smoke though, not without risking catching her in the flames- but come to think of it, there was another spell that he'd used against frogs, wasn't there? Back at Hogwarts, dissecting them back in his Potions classes. And it was basic, elementary-level magic to boot; even with the pitiful pittance of magical energy, of mana, which he still had left, he should still be able to cast it.

"Diffindo!" Straining to keep his head raised, struggling to do the slashing motion with his wand just right with his hand quivering in exhaustion, Harry sent the spell on its way- holding his breath, before letting it out when it struck true, scoring a slash across the frog's neck which was deep enough to nearly lop its head off. Completely spent, Harry's head fell, planting his face into the grass. He hated the way that casting magic took its toll in this world- utterly hated it. But still, yay, he'd won- that was the important thing. And hey, at least he didn't have hay fever like Hermione did. Even without it though, having all of these stalks of grass poking into his face, especially the ones getting into his eyes, nostrils and mouth, was- not particularly pleasant…

"…Cough, cough– MMMBEUUEEEGHH! Uah, uah, WAHHH…!"

Aqua had found her voice too, and the sound of her sobbing hysterically, broken up by the sound of her repeatedly retching up the contents of her stomach, wasn't particularly pleasant either. Certainly wasn't the satisfying sound of sweet music that he'd hoped it'd be. She'd probably been affected by his Slug-Vomiting Curse too. And tempting though it may have seemed at first, it turned out that he couldn't really take pleasure from laying back and letting the fallen goddess suffer after all. _Fine, fine_ …

"Aqua? Aqua! Hang in there, 'kay? Just, give me, a second…"

Gritting his teeth, drawing upon what little strength he'd managed to recover in the last few minutes, Harry dragged himself along across the ground, slowly crawling his way over towards the spot where Aqua was sitting, hugging her knees and rocking herself back and forth, between the partially decapitated bloody corpse of the Giant Toad which'd gobbled her up and the freshly barbecued smoky remains of the one which had tried to run. Sat in the midst of a large puddle of puke, both from the Giant Toad's stomach and her own, with a wriggling mass of slugs slithering over her and each other to carpet the ground all around her, turning the scene before him into something out of a gardener's worst nightmares.

Dragging his arm across the ground to point his wand at her, Harry cast the _finite_ on her, sparing her any further curse-inflicted misery. Didn't banish the sudden slug infestation away, or clear away any of the thick slime she was coated in, but at least she wouldn't be vomiting up any more slugs to add to the pile. Without the puke sessions to keep interrupting her though, Aqua started crying non-stop, with her wailing and sobbing getting even louder. Even if she was a goddess, what she'd just gone through would've pretty rough on anyone… "Erm, Aqua? Are you o… I mean, how're you holding up? Alr-"

Still bawling her eyes out, absolutely covered in the frogs' and slugs' combined glossy slimy juices from head to toe, with several of the slugs still clinging onto her arms and legs like leeches, Aqua flung herself on top of him, slathering all of it over him as well. "Ugh… Sob… Thank, thank you… Harry, thank you…! WAHHH…!"

 _Euurgh, she reeks! So bad…_ Wrinkling his nose at the all-too-nostalgic smell, with the Giant Toads' slime almost indistinguishable from Giant Trolls' snot, Harry rolled over onto his back, pushed Aqua away to hold her at arm's length. "Alright, alright! No big deal, really! Just, be strong…" Tentatively, Harry patted her shoulder to try and placate her, picking off a couple of fat, slimy slugs which'd found their way onto his robes and flicking them away."You know what, how about we head back, call it a day? I'm properly knackered, and you- both of us, now- could do with taking a ba…"

"NO…!" Aqua yelled out, standing up. "For a goddess like me humiliated by a frog, how can we retreat? I've already been defiled. If any believers see how dirty I am… Their faith will most certainly plummet! If word gets out, if people knew that I ran from frogs, the name of the beautiful and stunning Goddess Aqua will fall by the wayside!" Aqua gesticulated wildly, tossing glistening contrails of the ooze all over her body flying around everywhere. Still unable to stand, Harry squinted at her, looking her up and down whilst brushing away all of the new slugs that she'd shaken off onto him.

She was normally as happy as can be to work up a sweat on the construction site with the older workers, and even happier downing pints with them on the pub crawls after work. Her greatest joy was eating dinner after taking a bath, and having a good, hard drink- while sleeping in the stables, she'd been able to out-drool and out-snore everyone else he'd ever known, even Ron. Hell, even Dudley! And she even still stuck stubbornly to that stupid story she'd made up about having invisible panties, and when he'd brought it up, she'd loudly dared him to come on and stroke her bum so that he could feel that she was wearing them (which he'd seriously considered going ahead and doing, just to prove the point that she was lying through her teeth- but in the middle of that tavern? Even the boldness of a true Gryffindor had its limits). Given the way she conducted herself…

"Bit late for that, isn't it? Besides, being covered in gloop isn't that shameful. These Giant Toads are tough… Wait, hold up! Aqua!"

Too late. Ignoring his words, Aqua charged off into the distance at full tilt, toward another newly emerged salmon-pink Giant Toad a couple of fields away. Still too knackered from using up practically all of his magic to even sit up, let alone stand up or try going after her, all Harry could do was lie back and watch.

"Feel the wrath of a goddess!" Aqua yelled out her battle cries at the top of her voice. "You dare to oppose a goddess! Regret that you ever stood in my path, and bared your fangs at the gods!"

"But- they're toothless though…?" Harry muttered under his breath; before trailing off, gawking at the sight of shimmering arcs of bright golden light beginning to spiral from Aqua's clenched fist, with visible shock-waves starting to forming behind it as she continued to build momentum, drawing closer to the Giant Toad.

"…Repent in hell! God Blow! God Blow is a lethal fist that carries a goddess's rage and sorrow! Any it strikes shall PERISH…!" _Whoa._ _So this is the power of a goddess?_ Looking on from afar, wide-eyed at her spectacular display of godly power, Harry watched Aqua's fist, so bright now that it almost outshone the sun, ploughing forward to plunge deep into the belly of the Giant Toad- which, looking at how small Aqua looked next to it, had to be larger than any of the three he'd killed, easily as big as a small elephant or as Aragog- with a sound like striking a war drum, sending waves rippling out across its abdomen from the sheer force of the impact…

The Giant Toad wasn't sent flying back, laid low or shaken by the mighty blow though. Just like most of the heavy-hitting spells he'd struck the others with earlier, Aqua's punch did absolutely nothing. Unbudged and unimpressed, with her fist still buried in its fat stomach, the huge Giant Toad looked down at her, its tongue flicking out to lick its lips.

"Y-you know, now that I get a good look up close, I think you frogs are actually pretty cute…" Aqua said softly, raising her gaze to meekly look it in the eyes. Unfortunately though, her attempt at flattery didn't have the slightest effect on the Giant Toad either. Which promptly squatted down and scooped her up into its broad mouth, gobbling her up and swallowing her down whole.

"Aqua! You-! Again?! Give me a break, damn it…!"

* * *

 _30 Minutes Later._

Or thereabouts, anyway. Wasn't like he'd managed to replenish enough magic yet to spare some of it on something as trivial as casting the Tempus Charm, not when he still couldn't walk. But he could tell that evening was approaching now, with the sun starting to dip towards the horizon, and the shadows of the trees planted alongside the road leading back into town stretching far enough to cross their path. Mostly cherry trees, from the look of it; with a fair few plump, dark red cherries still dangling on their branches, ripe for the plucking. With a couple of rose bushes scattered between them as well, in full bloom. This place, this world, sure had some beautiful scenery.

"Awww, Hawwy-san! Why do I have to do this? It isn't fair…!"

 _Too bad he couldn't admire his surroundings in peac_ e, Harry thought. Not with this goddess wailing on and on… "What now, Aqua? What isn't fair?"

"That you're making me carry you around on my back! So unfair, so cruel…!" Aqua waved her arms around, forcing Harry to cling on harder to avoid getting shaken off. Clasping his arms tighter around her neck, clenching his legs around her waist, with his crown jewels riding up into the small of her back even more firmly than they already had been…

"Oi, steady on!" Harry said, his face reddening. "And what else was I supposed to do? Just lie there on the ground and wait 'til I'd recovered, not knowing when another of those Giant Toads might pop up out of nowhere and guzzle me up? Fat chance I'd let that happen…!"

"But I got eaten, TWICE! I'm covered in slime, and it's so hard to try and get it off- it's so sticky, so stinky…!"

"Yeah, thanks for telling me that, I hadn't noticed," Harry muttered sarcastically. Getting a piggy-back ride from Aqua, using her soft, squishy butt-cheeks as his improvised saddle, jiggling up and down on top of them with each step; in different circumstances, at any other time, this probably would've been a rather enjoyable experience. As it was though, gagging on the foul stench of the magic-resistant slime, with Aqua's long, flowing locks of hair continually whipping back onto him to slap more frog-fluids onto his face? _Not likely._

He couldn't possibly not have spared the magic to cast the _Impervius_ Charm, on his robes, to make sure that the slime didn't seep into them, and at least it was managing to do the business for now. And at least the light purple, translucent wavy scarf thingie she wore- her raiment, that was it. Or was it 'holy relic'?- seemed to be slime-resistant as well. But even with the _Impervius_ in place, and Aqua's raiment in the way to keep some of the gunk at bay, this was more than unpleasant enough…

"…You should be the one carrying meee! That's what a proper gentleman would have been doing!"

"Excuse me!?" Harry asked incredulously. "Just how the hell would you have expected me to…!?"

"You're fourteen- you're supposed to be a man now, Harry-san! But what kind of man would do such a thing, forcing a fair maiden to carry the burden of his weight upon her delicate shoulders?"

"Eh? Delicate? You're having a laugh- didn't those lot at the Guild say that you were supposed to be, like, the strongest person ever?" Harry retorted. And while Aqua might've had selective deafness for any advice, criticisms or suggestions directed at her, she never missed a compliment.

"Yes, well, that is true," she admitted, straightening her poise and walking down the road with a bit more of a skip in her step, now that he'd restored a few shreds of her tattered self-belief. "But even so, this is no way to treat a beautiful lady- no, a veritable certified goddess! Especially when I've suffered soo much! Don't you have any chivalry, Harry…?!"

 _Don't I-!_ "Say WHAT?!" Harry protested, spluttering in indignation, and staring daggers into the back of the goddess's slime-slicked head of bright blue hair. _Is she for real?! I don't BELIEVE…!_ "Chivalry? I just had to do the whole knight-in-shining-armor act, twice in a row! Dragging myself across the ground, through the mud, to come to your rescue cause I couldn't even walk; slaying those monsters single-handed, all just to save your fat ass and pull you out of the belly of those beasts! THAT's what a real Gryffindor does! And THAT, is what real chivalry is! So don't you go giving me that crap- you owe me, big time. This much, at the very least…"

"But it isn't faaaair!" Aqua whined, whittling his severely worn patience down to his last nerve. "The slime! I feel so icky, so nasty…! If believers were to see me now, humilated like this…!"

"Oh, stow it," Harry snapped angrily. "We're nearly there, so pack it in and get a move on already. You think I'm enjoying this any more than you are? You think that having to get a girl to carry me around on her back isn't mortifying for me too? If I could walk on my own right now, d'you really think I'd still be perched up here on your back? Fat chance. But I can't; I'm still too drained. And even if I wasn't, my ankle's busted anyway."

"Eh? You picked up an injury?" Aqua asked, with genuine concern in her voice, stopping in her tracks and craning her neck to look back over her shoulder at him. "Which ankle- this one?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Took a hard thwack from one of those Giant Toads' vicious tongues. Just hoping that it isn't too bad, that I'll be able to walk it off soon eno-AAGH…!" All of a sudden, out of the blue, Aqua grabbed hold of his injured left ankle and squeezed it, hard. Caught off completely off guard, with no chance to steel himself, Harry couldn't stop himself from crying out, his eyes watering in pain. "Son of a… What'd you do that for?!"

"Hmm, deary me," Aqua muttered, still squidging the swollen joint in her iron grasp. "This isn't just a sprain, you've gone and torn your ankle- this must really hurt…"

"Jeez, you think?!" Harry snarled, clenching his teeth together. "Now then, if you're satisfied, d'you reckon you could cut that out already?"

"Oh no, I couldn't!" Aqua exclaimed, reaching back to effortlessly pluck him off of her shoulders, hoisting him up in the air like a rag doll. _Cripes, this woman was easily strong enough to win an arm-wrestling contest with Hagrid, no problem…_ "You mustn't bear these things in silence, Harry-san! And surely you can't have already forgotten that there's no-one better at healing magic than me?"

Plonked down on the path by Aqua, Harry staggered back, just about managing to stand shakily for a moment or two, before his left leg gave way underneath him and he collapsed in a heap at her feet, with the jolt eliciting another hiss of pain.

"Now, now, this simply won't do," Aqua scolded, leaning in over him and wagging her finger. "Please, allow me to fix that for you!" Winking at him, Aqua took a step back, twirling around on the spot before striking a pose, with one of her arms raised up toward the sky behind her head, and the other pointing down at him at full stretch, reaching down to gently tap him on the forehead. "HEAL!"

The word rang out, echoing strangely, and a glowing vibrant green aura flowed forth from the tip of her index finger, spreading outwards from the spot where she'd touched him until it enveloped him completely; washing over his skin in one great big wave, before ebbing away as quickly as it'd come, carrying away all of the aches and pains he'd been feeling along with it.

Blinking, disbelievingly, Harry stared down at his ankle, tried moving his foot around to test it out. No problems there- none at all. Didn't even feel numb or tingly or anything like that; it just felt perfectly fine. Looked fine as well. More or less, anyway. Though it was kind of hard to tell; something wasn't quite right with his eyesight, and trying to take a proper, hard look at it was threatening to bring his headache back with a vengeance for some reason. Or was it his glasses which were messed up, rather than his eyes? His peripheral vision seemed crystal clear… Still blinking, Harry reached up for his spectacles, tentatively taking them off and taking a look around.

"Whoa…"

Whatever Aqua had just done, whatever magic she'd just used to heal him, it wasn't just his ankle that she'd fixed with it. His glasses hadn't gotten fogged up at all; it was just that he didn't need to wear them any more. All of the problems he'd had with his vision, his near-sightedness- it was gone! He'd gotten so used to his poor eyesight that he'd hardly noticed it before, but now that he could see every hint of movement around him, pick out every hue of colour, make out every tiny detail? It was like he'd been looking at the world through a window-pane, or a camcorder, all the while before now, and he was finally getting to see it with his own two eyes for the first time…

"So? Feeling alright now, Harry?"

"I'm… Yeah. I'm alright…" Harry breathed, a broad smile spreading across his face. He hadn't had vision as clear as this since, well, ever- long before he could remember, before he'd moved into the cupboard under the stairs. Staring off into the distance, towards the walls of Axel, with the town gates still half a mile or so down the road, he could even make out the unshaven stubble on the face of the armoured guard standing to attention at his post in front of them. With eyesight like this, he'd have caught the Golden Snitch in the first few minutes of every single game of Quidditch he'd ever played, no doubt about it. This was… "Better than alright! This is awesome! Thanks, Aqua!"

"Hee hee hee!" Feigning shyness, Aqua pretended to turn away, still peeking at him through her fingers and grinning like a Cheshire Cat. "You're welcome, Harry!"

A stray thought suddenly went through Harry's mind. _Hold up- if it'd healed up his eyesight, then mightn't it have…!?_ But no. Raising his hand to the spot where she'd tapped him, in the middle of his forehead, it hadn't; the magical lightning-bolt shaped scar he'd picked up from Lord Voldemort was still there, still marking him out as the Boy who Lived. He'd expected to feel a bit let down, disappointed about it still being there. He certainly hadn't expected to feel a trifle relieved that he still had it, that it hadn't been healed away…

"Now come on, quit lying around!" Aqua called out, snapping him out of his musings. "I want to get back quickly, go have a nice, long soak in the bath!"

"Sure thi-" Harry tried getting up to follow her, only to flop back down on the ground again, his legs still refusing to obey him. And without the constant shooting pain in his ankle to keep him on edge, he felt even more exhausted now than before. "Er, Aqua? Think my magic's still drained; I still can't move."

"Oh, right! It healed you up, but of course it wouldn't restore your mana. If it did, it'd be seriously broken! Actually, come to think of it, it might even drain it all away, make it so that you can't cast magic for a little while…"

Oh. Kay… Narrowing his eyes, with a deadpan expression on his face, Harry looked up at the beaming goddess. "Hang on. Just how long are we talking about?"

"Oh, no time at all! A minute's cool down at most. Two, tops. No more than a few, surely! Maybe five…?" Aqua shrugged, still smiling at him. _Well, that was informative._ Really, he should've known better than to bother asking…

"Well, thanks anyway. Let's just hope that we won't run into any more monsters before then, eh?"

"Pfff!" Aqua blew a loud raspberry. "What's with you being such a worrywart all of a sudden! We're almost there, so there's absolutely nothing to worry about! We definitely won't be running into any more monsters, not when we're this close to town!"

"I guess so- oh."

"See?" Aqua proclaimed, spreading her arms out, with the panoramic backdrop of Axel's perimeter walls behind her. Along with the ominous looming figure of the electric blue Giant Toad that had just dug its way out and emerged on the open plain only a few metres off the road, which was now squatting right between them and the way back into town. "There's nothing to worry about for miles around! We're home free, safe at last!"

"Aqua."

"Yep?"

"I think you might have to carry me again."

"Huh? Why?"

 _Why? Why'd you have to jinx us?_ Too weary to bother with a proper reply, Harry simply pointed past her, towards the Giant Toad now blocking their path. Ever so slowly, Aqua turned back around…

"Eeep!" Letting out a squeal, Aqua jumped back at the sight of the over-sized amphibian standing in their way, going deathly pale and not-so-slowly backing away; past the spot where Harry was still struggling just to stay sitting up straight, and starting to retrace her steps back up the road away from town. _Oh no you don't…!_

"Oi, get back here! I still can't move- don't you _dare_ think about just leaving me here! Hold it together; were you a goddess or not!?"

That snapped her out of it. With full colour restored to her face, Aqua stopped in her tracks. "Hey! I AM a goddess!" She protested, glaring at him and putting her hands on her hips. "Present tense!"

"Oh yeah? Go on then- prove it!"

"F-fine, I will! T-these frogs may be strong against physical attacks, but this time for sure- watch this, Harry! I'll show you the powers of a Goddess! GOD REQUI- erm…?" Poised to launch her new attack, Aqua started charging forward, only to pull out of it only a few steps into her run-up, petering to a halt alongside him. Transfixed, just like he was, by the unexpected sight of a swirling, spiraling torrent of dark blue magic, driving the winds with it like a tornado, encasing the Giant Toad in a giant dome; with a cacophony of white lights starting to materialise in mid-air around it, like the stars in the milky way, getting brighter and brighter…

"This- isn't you, is it, Aqua? But who…?"

But before he'd finished asking the question, Harry had already found the answer himself. Thanks to his newly bestowed perfect eyesight, he could see where this surging storm of magic was coming from, even from this far away. Emanating from the tip of a long, dark magic staff, with a crystal orb suspended in the hook curve at its top, being held aloft in the gloved hand of a small, slender, fair-skinned girl. A young witch; younger than him, standing out in front of the town gates. Wearing an outfit which looked for all the world like Gryffindor's Quidditch robes, with an identical colour scheme, bright scarlet with gold highlights and borders. Except that while the robes of their Quidditch uniforms had been long enough to come down to their ankles, her dress was rather short, only coming halfway down to her knees; almost as short as Lavender Brown's infamous 'cheer-leading outfit'. Instead, she was shrouded in a black travelling cloak with gold borders, which was just as long; clasped onto a choker around her neck, billowing out behind her.

And rather than wearing a hood, a traditional witch's hat was perched atop her head, with the young witch having to hold it in place with her free hand to keep it from being blown away in the gale-force winds generated by whatever spell she was casting, with Harry just about managing to catch a few whisps of her voice through the howling breeze, chanting the incantation off in the distance. Beneath its brim, her shoulder-length black hair whipped around her face wildly; her left eye was covered up by a red eye-patch bearing a golden cross emblem on it, but her right eye was glowing crimson red, glowing almost as brightly as the orb in her staff as she aimed it forwards, pointing it straight at the trapped Giant Toad, and yelled out the last word of her lengthy spell at the top of her voice.

"… _EXPLOSION!_ "

In unison, all of the stars enveloping the Giant Toad burst into an assortment of all the colours in the spectrum, before going supernova, and detonating in one massive explosion. He barely had time to react before the blast wave hit, powerful enough to blast even Aqua backwards a step or two, in spite of how far away they were from its epicenter. Dumbfounded, Harry stared out across the span of the massive smoking crater that'd been blasted out by the spell, cutting all the way across the road, through the empty spot in the middle of it where the Giant Toad had just gotten completely obliterated without leaving so much as a trace, at the pretty young witch who'd just blown it to smithereens with the most powerful spell he'd ever seen. Transfixed by the sparkle of her eye, still gleaming like a ruby, as well as the euphoric smile lighting up her face.

For a split second. Before her legs gave way, and she fell forwards, face-planting onto the stone path hard enough to make him cringe. "Wow," Harry breathed, his ears still ringing from the noise of the explosion. "Who indeed…?"

" _How should I know?_ " Aqua muttered under her breath, pouting off to the side. " _God Requiem's super amazing too, and I really wanted to get payback for being eaten…_ "

"You again?!" The guardsman standing at the gates bellowed out, his voice almost as loud as the booming explosion. Stomping across to stand over the fallen witch, with an angry expression on his face. "What'd I tell you?! You can't keep doing this…!"

Uh-oh, it sounded like she was in trouble. But they definitely owed her one now- standing up for her was the least he could do. Cracking a smile, grunting from the effort, Harry wobbled to his feet, still feeling like he was under the effects of a strong Jelly Legs Jinx, but finally managing to stand precariously in spite of it. Waving Aqua over, reaching out to grab her hand so he could use it as a support to help him walk.

"So then, what are we waiting for? C'mon, Aqua; let's get over there and find out."

* * *

 _Hello again, everybody, and here's the latest chapter of **Wizard's Blessing** \- action-packed from beginning to end! Hope the battle with the Giant Toads lived up to expectations; definitely exceeded Harry's and Aqua's expectations that it'd be an effortless walk in the park, didn't it? But they battled long and hard, managed to get through it, and emerged triumphant in the end. Or Harry did, at any rate. Though her experience of being swallowed alive by the Giant Toads, combined with having to experience the Slug-Vomiting Hex first-hand at the same time, probably means that Aqua's been a little bit more traumatized by her encounter with them here than she was in canon. And nestled in at the end, as a special treat, we have the beginnings of Harry and Aqua's first encounter with everyone's favorite explosion-obsessed chunnibyou as well! Though the chapter's title probably clued you in already..._

 _Anticipating that a few readers might be scratching their heads at Megumin's introduction earlier than in canon, but for those readers, let me emphasize that we've already departed from the canon of Kazuma's story by a heck of a lot; a week or so makes the world of difference. Harry's still only been in this world for eight days, having abandoned construction work in favor of burglary to finance his adventuring lifestyle after only a week, whereas Kazuma stuck with manual labor on the construction site for a full fortnight before bothering to set out on his first quest. So in the anime, we'd still be in Episode 1; and in the timeline of the manga, we're inter-meshing with Volume 3 of Megumin's Gifting this World with Wonderful Explosions! spin-off series. Which is why we're meeting Megumin this early; at this point in canon, she was still going out to cast Explosion on the open plains just outside of town._

 _And in canon, on the eighth day after their arrival, Megumin did go to that exact spot just outside the town gates, and did go out of her way to target a nearby Giant Toad for her daily Explosion practice (having been lectured by the same guardsman on the day before for using it on nothing, and being asked to limit herself to using it on monsters). So she's not just there for the sake of exposition, or to rush the plot along. Megumin's there because she would've been there regardless, and she's blowing up the same Giant Toad which she would've blown up anyway in canon. Though she's certainly presented Harry with a good first impression of herself in the process, wouldn't you say? And also, since Harry's meeting Megumin a week earlier than Kazuma did, she's still interested in forming a party with Yunyun, who's waiting for her back in the Adventurers' Guild Tavern; which is where we'll be be headed back to in the next chapter. Stay tuned- until next time! And please, remember to R &R!_


	6. It's Party Time

**Chapter 6: It's Party Time**

"You again?!" The guardsman standing at the gates bellowed out, his voice almost as loud as the booming explosion. Stomping across to stand over the fallen witch, with an angry expression on his face. "What'd I tell you?! You can't keep doing this…!"

Uh-oh, it sounded like she was in trouble. But they definitely owed her one now- standing up for her was the least he could do. Cracking a smile, grunting from the effort, Harry wobbled to his feet, still feeling like he was under the effects of a strong Jelly Legs Jinx, but finally managing to stand precariously in spite of it. Waving Aqua over, reaching out to grab her hand so he could use it as a support to help him walk.

"So then, what are we waiting for? C'mon, Aqua; let's get over there and find out."

"Hmph. Fine, fine. At least I don't have to carry you on my back any more. Though you still need me to guide you along- such a pain…" _Took the words right out of my mouth_ , Harry thought, holding his tongue and letting the blue haired goddess walk him along, leading him by the hand. Holding on tight, so that his grasp didn't slip- Aqua's hand was still more than a little bit clammy, slippery from all of the Toads' slime earlier. "I suppose it's only right to go and thank her. Even though, you know, I did have it covered already…"

"Sure you did, Aqua," Harry said patronizingly.

"No, I totally did! Just you wait until next time, until you see my _God Requiem_ in action- I'll show you the true power of a goddess, power which eclipses all others…!"

"Yeah, sure thing Aqua. You do that…" Harry waved Aqua's words away, tuning out the rest of her boastful monologue and focusing his attentions on the young witch instead. She was still lying there, collapsed on the ground. Not that he could see much of her at the moment, with the way she'd fallen- her small frame was enveloped by her black and gold travelling cloak, which was draped over her like a blanket. And her witch's hat was still propped atop her head, standing in the middle of the road like a traffic cone, with its broad, flat brim wide enough to conceal all but a few of the longest strands of her sleek, shoulder-length black hair from view.

As the two of them slowly approached, the mystery girl was still getting a tongue-lashing from the guardsman on duty, who seemed to be besides himself, on the verge of blowing a gasket- standing over her in his full suit of armour, yelling at her at the top of his voice, swinging his spear around for emphasis at the end of each sentence. "…I told you yesterday, didn't I?! What did I say?! NOT TO USE MAGIC WITHOUT REASON! What do you have to say for yourself, loli?!"

Eh? _Lolly? Is that her name or something? If it is, it's a pretty weird name…_ But Harry didn't have too much time to think about it before she started speaking- quietly at first, with her soft voice muffled beneath her witch's hat, before speaking up a bit louder, pleading with the guardsman. "Bu-But I did as you asked today. I used magic on a monster. I defeated a Giant Frog…! So please, sir, can you just let it slide?"

The guardsman breathed a heavy sigh, his well-polished steel armor clanking when he crossed his arms across his broad chest, leaning down over her. "I can easily defeat Giant Frogs, and any other similar monsters. I can handle the monsters that come and approach this gate by myself, no problem…"

"If you could've, why didn't you then?!" Harry called out.

Cut off in mid-speech, caught off-guard, the guardsman stood bolt upright, swinging around to face him, with his spear raised and at the ready- before lowering it back down by his side, casting his eyes over him and Aqua and raising an eyebrow at them instead. For her part, Aqua looked like she was on the verge of bursting into tears again, and even Harry felt a tad self-conscious, now that his robes were all smeared with the foul-smelling congealed slime as well. _Yes, I know, we look like shit._ He hoped that the Guild Lodge would have a top-notch laundry service; didn't want these clothes to get ruined, messed up or stained permanently. They were pretty much the last thing he had to provide reminders of his past life at Hogwarts, after all…

"Huh? Who are you, kid? Listen, whoever you are, do yourself a favor and don't interfere." Turning back to glare accusingly at the young witch lying face-down at his feet, the guardsman actually had the audacity to start shooing him away, each dismissive wave of his gloved hand further raising Harry's ire. _Who did this guy think he was?_ "Go on, go on, get gone. You, and your- whoever that blue-haired lady is to you. This isn't any of your business; you're not involved, you don't know what we've had to put up with from…"

Gritting his teeth, Harry stopped leaning on Aqua's arm, stepping away to stand unsupported, on his own. He was still properly tired, pretty unsteady on his feet, but he could just about manage it, and this geezer wouldn't take him seriously if he continued to look as weak as he felt right now. "My name, is Harry Potter. Not 'kid'. And I'm making it my business. Got a problem with that?"

"When you're coming up in my face like that, giving it large and trying to tell me how to do my job? Yes, I do have a problem with that."

"Well, you're the one 'giving it large' about how you could've easily defeated it," Harry retorted. "So why didn't you go defeat it yourself, instead of standing back and doing eff-all?"

The guardsman snorted contemptuously, crossing his arms and taking a few steps back to lean up with his back against the gate. "Cause it wasn't approaching the gate, was it now? It was just sitting there, all the way out there. I get paid to stay here and guard this gate- that's my job, that's my duty. Can't just go haring off, abandoning my post, to chase after monsters. Because that isn't my job; that's an adventurer's job, that's what they get paid for. So why don't you get off my case, lad…?"

 _Damn, how do I argue with that?_ Still, Harry wasn't willing to back down just yet. "Not until you get off her case. Why can't you let her off the hook? It was a freaking monster, for crying out loud. And we were right there, on the road, pretty close to it when it dug itself out. She was helping us out!"

"Pah. Stealing your kill, more like. Giant Frogs are nothing but easy fodder, child's play. Anyone can take them down with nothinh but basic starter equipment, like…" The guardsman blinked, his face going blank as he looked over Harry and Aqua over once more, taking a closer look at the two of them. "Hold up, wait a second. You're telling me that the two of you went out there, and battled Giant Frogs, like _that_? Without any armor, without so much as a dagger- without any metal items on you at all?"

"Er- yeah, we did? So? What's your point? Is that supposed to be some big deal?"

The guardsman just shook his head, letting out a half-hearted chuckle. "Eris' bosom, that's just goddamned crazy. Going off to fight Giant Frogs without metal- what're you, tree-hugging Druids…?"

"No, I am not!" Aqua proclaimed loudly, striding forward, and knocking Harry off-balance a bit when she nudged him aside on the way through. "I'm an Archpriest! And not just any Archpriest either- I'm none other than…!"

"…I mean, no wonder you two look like that," The guardsman continued, still shaking his head in disbelief. "She got gobbled up, didn't she? You too, from the look of it."

The corners of Aqua's lips wobbled, her big blue eyes starting to tear up again.

"Hell no!" Harry protested. "Well, yeah, _she_ did. Twice. But no, _I_ didn't. All of this slime on me, it's just rubbed off from her, on the way back. What're you saying- that we, she, could've avoided that?"

"Well, yeah. Isn't it bleeding obvious? These Giant Frogs, they're monsters, but they're still like any other animals. And this time of year, in their mating season, they've only got two things on their mind- mating, and swallowing up as much soft, juicy and tender meat as they can eat, gorging themselves and filling up their bellies before they hibernate for the winter. Metal, though, metal isn't edible. If they see even a glint of it, most of the time they'll leave it be, look for tastier morsels to gulp down instead. That's why they go after the goats and sheep, but not the horses- since they wear horseshoes, they're pretty much safe. And you two would've been too, if you'd had any metal items on you."

"What, seriously? It's that easy?"

"Sure is," the guardsman replied with a nod, giving him another strange look. "Didn't you even bother reading the information sheet, kid? It's all on there."

" _Grrr_ …" Kicking himself, Harry stared off into the distance, back out across the open plains. _Dammit_ \- that exhausting battle he'd fought, out there on the plains? That could've been, should've been, so bloody easy! Transfiguration and Conjuration seemed to be the least taxing types of magic in this world to boot- he could've easily conjured up a sword, or transfigured a branch into one, with hardly any effort at all! _Next time._ Next time, he'd get the info first, read it through and take it on board. Even if he did hate prep work, and studying. _Specially when Hermione wasn't here to do it all for him yet_ …

"Anyway, loli, can't you use this magic of yours to go defeat stronger monsters instead, farther away from the town? By the way, recently, several huge craters have suddenly appeared near town! Those were made by you, right? It took a lot of manual labor to fill those holes!"

"After using this magic, I won't be able to move due to mana exhaustion." The young witch stated bluntly, with her voice still muffled both by her hat and by courtesy of still lying face-down on the ground, kissing the dirt. Her pronunciation was clear enough though, and she had a bit of a posh accent. "And if I became immobile far away from the town, I'd get eaten by other monsters that came to investigate."

"Tell me about it," Harry muttered. "I was in a similar pinch back there, when you killed that Giant Toad for us. If you hadn't… Thanks. A lot."

"Huh? You're…?" Straining herself, the witch rolled over onto her side, a ruby red eye peering out from under the brim of her hat to look up at him, with a flicker of surprise and confusion flashing across her features, before the faintest hint of rose slightly flushed her fair cheeks. "You're welcome."

"Then, you'll just have to find some companions, loli," the guardsman said, tapping his armored foot impatiently. "Because it can't go on like this."

" _I wouldn't have so much trouble if I could do that,_ " The girl murmured to herself under her breath, so quietly that Harry only barely managed to hear it. But he did. And even if he hadn't, he'd have still seen how her face (at least, the half of it which wasn't still concealed beneath her hat) fell, her shoulders slumping. She wasn't crying, and it didn't look like she would, but she still easily looked more dejected than Aqua did when bawling her eyes out. _Alright, that decides it._ His mind firmly made up, Harry grinned, snapping his fingers.

"Well then, that's no problem, is it? Not now we're here. So, what d'you reckon- how'd you fancy tagging along with us for a bit?" Crouching down, Harry held out his hand to her, and the young witch stared at it for a moment, before looking back up at him, with a sparkle of hope twinkling in her eye.

"Really? You mean it- you want me to join your party? Even after witnessing my forbidden strength, for which I have been ostracized by the entire world…?"

"Course we do. Isn't that right, Aqua?"

The blue-haired goddess frowned, wrinkling her forehead as she thought it through. "Well, I suppose her job _is_ top-tier, and she'd have to be _very_ advanced to be able to cast such a high-level spell as explosion magic. Very well, I'll allow it."

"You'll…" Harry narrowed his eyes, making a mental note to remind Aqua just who was in charge here. Later, though- he'd save that 'til later. "See? So, wanna give it a shot? Are you up for it?"

"Hehehe." The young witch chuckled softly, clasping her hands to her- not _quite_ as flat as it'd appeared at first glance- chest. "That we should meet, like this, must surely be a fate chosen by the world itself. I have anxiously awaited the arrival of those such as yourselves…"

"Er- is that a yes?"

"Yes!" Smiling happily, the girl reached out to grab hold of his hand. Given how small she was, and how she was still too exhausted to stand on her own, she had a surprisingly strong, firm grip. She was pretty light as well, and he'd recovered a decent bit of his strength again, making it easier than he'd expected to hoist her to her feet. Hard enough though, since she still couldn't stand, and he had to keep hefting her up one-handed. "Please excuse me. Could you carry me back to the Guild?"

Satisfied, the guardsman offered them a stiff nod, pivoting around on the spot before marching back off towards his post. "Course we can," Harry said, huffing and puffing a bit from the effort of keeping her from collapsing to the ground again like a sack of potatoes. He was already starting to get a cramp in his shoulder too; forcing him to pull her in closer, slinging her arm up over his shoulder to keep her propped up. Too close _…_! "A-Aqua! Get your ass over here, give her a ride."

"Eh? I have to carry her too now? Why? Why must I?"

"Cause she needs someone to, that's why," Harry snapped, his cheeks flushed.

"But I don't wanna!" Aqua moaned, crouching down and letting Harry hoist their new party member onto her back. "Who do you think I am!? Such a task doesn't suit me! Giving piggy-back rides- I am not a pig! Not a pack horse either! I am a-"

"God's sake, Aqua, enough! Now, quit whining and get a move on. We're heading straight back to the Guild _…_ "

"Oh NO we are NOT!" Aqua exclaimed, stomping her foot down hard enough to shatter the paving stone beneath it in half, leaving a sizable dent in the pavement. Hard enough to shake loose most of the semi-congealed slime which had still been clinging onto her leg, setting it sliding down her thigh boot as if in slow motion, before rolling off onto the ground with a loud squelch. Nearly shook off the poor young witch now perched on her back as well, but she just barely managed to cling on, letting out a quiet "ouch" which got drowned out by Aqua's yelling. "I am going straight to the baths, to get all of THIS washed off, right now! Now, now, NOW _…_!"

"Alright, alright!" With Aqua stomping towards him, and those cascading golden rays of light starting to shine out of her tightly clenched fists again, Harry backed off, raising his hands in a gesture of mock surrender. "Merlin's beard, take a Calming Draught. Yeesh…"

*~ _Ten Minutes Later_ ~*

" _…_ Sorry about the detour," Harry apologized, twiddling his thumbs and staring down at the ground. "And about you getting slime all over the front of your robes too, what with Aqua carrying you on her back the rest of the way."

Waiting with him outside the public baths, sitting alongside him on the same bench, the young witch- _no, Lolly, it's not her fault if she's got a weird name_ \- gently patted him on his shoulder, getting him to look at her. "Don't worry, Harreepotta-san. The slime stinks, but at least it's warm, so it isn't too bad. And come to think of it _…_ " Absent-mindedly, she reached down to wipe off a fair bit of the largest streak of slime which had rubbed off on her clothes- the one smeared between her breasts- before popping her dripping index finger into her mouth, sucking on it thoughtfully.

"Actually, it's rather tasty. Like their meat. But a little bit saltier. And a lot stickier. Mmm… ah." Savoring the taste, she sucked it clean before pulling it out again with an audible 'pop', sticking out her tongue to lick her lips clean. Looking back up at him again, a hint of concern flickered across her face. "Harreepotta-san? Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Realizing he'd been gawking at her, Harry snapped his mouth shut, averting his gaze. "Oh- sure, I'm fine! Totally fine. Haha, haa…" Forcing out a nervous laugh, trying to play off his embarrassment, Harry rubbed the back of his head, messing around with his unruly hair. He could practically feel the steam coming out of his ears- but hey, on the plus side, at least his nose hadn't started bleeding again…

"So, anyhow… You know what, why don't we just, leave Aqua here to have her soak for however long she wants, head back to the Guild ahead of her, and let her catch up with us once she's done, instead of just dossing around here waiting for her? How about it, Lolly- Lolly…?" The witch sat next to him suddenly reeled back, twice, looking as stunned and hurt as he would've expected if he'd just double-slapped her in the face. _What gives? What's with that reaction- what'd I say?_ "Wait. I didn't mean to- what's wrong?"

Hunched over, the witch stared sideways at him again, with the sparkle in her crimson red eyes suddenly gone. "Loli," she murmured, in a disheartened, dull monotone. "I'm a- Loli? You're not much older than me, yet still, even you call me a Loli…?"

"Huh?" Harry blinked, nonplussed. " _A_ lolly? But- I mean, yeah, I get it, it's a pretty strange name, but it isn't _that_ bad. Unless- it _is_ your name, isn't it _…_?"

"No, it is not! Don't call me that!" The young witch protested loudly, the fire in her eyes sparking back into life and blazing away as she glared at him.

"But- that guy back there, that guardsman, he kept calling you Lolly…"

"So what?! He kept calling you a kid too, didn't he? I'm almost of age, almost fourteen! I am not a Loli; no little girl am I!" Pushing herself up off the bench, rising to her feet, she flung her travelling cloak out behind her, turning back around to face him, twirling her magical staff around.

"My name, is Megumin!" She proclaimed, emphasizing her declaration by setting the foot of her staff back down against the ground, raising her right hand to hold onto the broad brim of her witch's hat and striking a pose. "Preeminent prodigy of the Crimson Mage clan! My calling is that of an Arch-wizard…!"

"Wizard? Don't you mean…?" An Arch- _witch_ , Harry was going to say, but Megumin ploughed on with her speech, unperturbed by his attempted interruption.

"…One who controls explosion magic, the strongest of all offensive magic! My lethal magic demolishes mountains, smashes bould-uh…!"

The base of her wizards' staff slipped on the uneven cobblestone from underneath her, and without its support to keep her propped up, Megumin tottered over, stumbling forward and taking a nose-dive towards the pavement. Harry's reaction time was on point though, and he managed to launch himself off the bench and dive in quickly enough to catch her in mid-fall, easy as snatching up a Snitch. "Whoa, steady on." Thankfully, his magical fatigue from earlier seemed to have worn off at long last, since he wasn't having any trouble at all now lifting her up now, but hers clearly hadn't yet. Turning around, he guided her arms over his shoulders, pulling her up onto his back. "Take it easy- you're still exhausted, right? C'mon, let's get going."

Megumin let out a huff of indignation, but still clung on tight as Harry started walking back towards the Adventurers' Guild. One-handed, still clutching her wizard's staff in the other hand and just about managing to keep its crook from jabbing him in his face. "Anyway, please don't call me 'loli', Harreepotta-san. And please, don't treat me like some little girl either."

It was more than a tad ironic, Harry mused, for her to say that when he was giving her a piggyback ride, just like Uncle Vernon used to with Dudders back when he was still in kindergarten (before he'd gotten too porky). Still, he wasn't going to rub it in by pointing that out, not after he'd just been in the same situation, and knew all too well how weak and helpless it made you feel. _Magical exhaustion was a bitch_ …

"Sorry. Didn't know what it meant, honest. I mean, sure, you're…" Harry trailed off, racking his brains to try to think of a diplomatic way to put it. Little? No, _he couldn't just come out and call her that, not after what she'd just been saying_. Small? _Nah, that was at least as bad._ Tiny- _hell no, that was far worse._ Petite? _Perhaps…_ Delicate? _No, that'd make it sound like he was poking fun of her, calling her weak, feeble…_ Dainty? _Meh…_ Dinky? _No way_ _…_ Traipsing around the small village green with the willow tree, passing the spot where he'd first arrived in this world with Aqua, Harry decided to hell with it. _Just pick one and run with it already_ … "You're cute. And you're a girl. But that doesn't make you a Loli."

Megumin suddenly tensed up, going as stiff as a board. Turning his head to peer over his shoulder at her, the scarlette wouldn't meet his gaze, turning her head away to look off to the side instead. He could see her right cheek though, and it wasn't just a slight hint of pink spreading across it this time. Was she- _she was blushing, wasn't she_? "S-saying such things," she murmured, through puckered lips."It isn't fair, Harreepotta-san."

Still trotting along at a steady pace, crossing over the small stream that ran beneath the path, a somewhat smug smile etched itself across Harry's face. "Well, it's true, you know. And enough with this 'Harry-Potter-san' malarkey. Just call me Harry, kay?"

"Eh?" Megumin exclaimed, more than a little bit flustered. "Y-you're sure you want me to? I mean, we've only just met…" Staring him down, looking him in the eye like she was trying to suss him out, her blush deepened, her face reddening til it almost resembled a ripe tomato.

Holding her gaze, Harry nodded, his smile widening into a grin. "C'mon." He reached up to clasp his hand over the far smaller, softer hand she'd slung over his left shoulder, holding it firmly against his chest. "We're partners now, aren't we? On the same team. No need to be so formal."

"If you say so… H-Harry-san."

Meh, close enough. "Thanks, Meg. Do you mind if I call you that? Meg?"

"But, but- my name is Megumin! Although- I mean, since you're saying that it _is_ fine to call you just Harry-san, I suppose it _would_ only be fair if I were to let you address me in similar fashion… However!" Megumin leaned forward, lightly bopping him on the head with the floating crystal orb set into her staff. "You'd better not call me that when we're in company! Embarrass me like that, and you shall incur umbrage incarnate, unleashing a frenzied riot of rampaging ruination upon thee…!"

"Okay, okay," Harry said, raising his hands in mock surrender. Didn't know what half of those words meant, but still, it was pretty easy to get the gist of the message. Emerging into Axel's town square, Harry slowly sidled to a halt, stopping a fair distance away from the Guild. "Anyway, we're almost there. Might be a tad undignified if I carried you in there like this though, Meg; d'you reckon you've recovered enough to walk on your own now? Or do you still feel a bit wobbly?"

"Oh, you're right! To make such an ignominious entrance- yes, I should be able to walk just fine now." Releasing her grip, Megumin slid down off his shoulders, setting her feet back on the ground, and testing her balance by holding a one-legged pose with her knee bent all the way back, almost like a flamingo, switching from one standing leg to the other. "Though I could have managed on my own back there, you know. You didn't really need to carry me, so…"

 _If we keep dithering around like this though, Aqua's gonna catch up with us before we even make it inside…_ "Without falling or stumbling along the way? Didn't look like it." Beckoning for Megumin to follow him, Harry set off again, marching across the square towards the Guild's entrance. She still managed to catch up with him though, and keep pace with him, in spite of her bandaged right leg, and despite being at least six, maybe even eight or nine, inches shorter than he was.

"…Thank you, Harry-san." Passing between the two totem poles standing in front of the Adventurers' Guild, crossing over the moat, she raised the brim of her hat to glance up at him with her uncovered eye, a furtive smile crossing her lips. "I appreciate it."

"Oh. Well, you're welcome. No problem. Ladies first?" Harry strode ahead to shove the heavy wooden doors open, holding them ajar for Megumin to walk through, before following her in.

With the doors slamming shut loudly behind them, plenty of heads turned their way. At one of the closest tables, over in the tavern section of the Guild, several adventurers who'd been chatting away suddenly went all silent, and rose to their feet in unison, looking awestruck, almost fearful- of him? No, they were all looking at Megumin instead. Who was staring them straight back at them, with little dimples appearing in her cheeks as her half-smile broadened into a confident smirk.

At least, for a moment or two, before Megumin's smile started to fall away at the sight of them all hastily walking away from their table and rushing across to the notice board, with the woman who seemed to be their leader- with dark green hair, tied up into a bun, and carrying a longbow and a quiver of arrows- tearing off one of the leaflets which had been pinned up there. Tightening her grasp on her wizard staff, crossing her arms, Megumin marched right over to block the woman's path of retreat back to her table, staring her down. _Or up, since the woman was at least a foot taller than her and all_ …

"Excuse me."

"Ah, yes!? Wh-What's the matter!?" The tall archer stammered, with her eyes flickering here, there and everywhere to avoid meeting the gaze of the diminutive girl standing in front of her, backing away until she was almost pressed up against the wall. No doubt about it- she was afraid. Ridiculously afraid. _Of Megumin?_

"Onee-san, may I see the paper that you just tore down?" Megumin asked politely, raising the eyebrow above her eyepatch at the sight of the woman placing her hands behind her back, trying to keep the piece of paper she was holding onto out of sight.

"I- refuse?"

Megumin's eye narrowed. Darting in, her hand shot out, forcefully snatching the paper post-it note out of the lady's hand before she had a chance to react. "Let me see." Turning it the right way round, smoothing out the new folds and creases, she started reading it out loud. " _Recruiting mage. My party consists of four members. No limit on magic type…_ Oh, no limit on magic type? How convenient! Such a shame that you were too late."

"So-So-Sorry," the archer woman stuttered, shuffling around Megumin to try and beat a retreat. "T-The spot has been taken, so the party is full now. That's why I tore down the pap- er…?!" She trailed off as Megumin's last sentence finally registered, stopping in her tracks. "Wait. Too late?"

"Lucky me, huh?" Harry chuckled, ambling across towards them. "Too bad I beat you lot to it."

"But…" The female adventurer turned to stare at him blankly, an expression of disbelief etched across her face. "You mean, she's with- you? Hold on- Oh, right. Uou're that guy who registered earlier today, along with the Arch-Priest. That means… You haven't heard the rumors about her yet, have you?"

"Rumours?" Furrowing his forehead, Harry looked back and forth from her to Megumin, who was properly scowling now, her eye starting to twitch in anger. He wasn't too keen about the woman's sudden change of tone either, or the way she was insinuating things. _Just like a slithery snake would_ … "What do you mean by that?" he asked acidly.

"Well, you see… There've been these rumours floating around, about a Crimson Mage girl, one who can use Explosion magic… Whenever she comes across a monster, she uses her magic without any regard for the surroundings. People are saying that she might be crazy, sick in the head…"

Unable to contain herself any longer, Megumin reached out to seize hold of the adventurer's arm, stopping her from turning her back on them and walking away after saying that. "This is just picking a fight! Sick in the head?! What's your problem? Are you looking down on Explosion magic? Is this a plot to ostracize me!?"

"N-No! I don't look down on Explosion magic. It's just, that's what everyone's been saying, and since he's a newcomer, I felt it only fair that he should know-"

"Know what?" Harry spat, stepping in to stand side-by-side with Megumin, reaching into his wand pocket. "Rumors, gossip? Couldn't care less about them, any of 'em. It's all just garbage, made up and smeared around by slimy little cowards. Hiding in the shadows, 'cause they're too scared to just walk up to the person and insult them to their face." Harry placed a firm hand upon Megumin's shoulder, before lifting his gaze to lock eyes with the woman, who visibly flinched, little beads of sweat starting to appear on her brow. "So? What're you waiting for? Here she is. She's standing right in front of you. Do you have the guts to say it to her face?" He turned around to stare down the rest of her crew, who'd kept hanging back and keeping their distance throughout, gesturing towards them. "Or any of the rest of your lot?"

"Well?" Megumin called out, joining in to speak for herself. "If you've got something to say about me, let's hear it! Let's see if you all can still be so garrulous after witnessing my magic, hmm!?"

Brandishing her staff in both hands, Megumin released her grip on the woman's arm, letting go of her. And as soon as she did, the woman was gone- scurrying away back to join the rest of her band, with the four of them packing their things together and booking it out of the Guild as fast as they could, without another word between them. Constantly tossing the pair of them frightened glances, as if they were afraid that they'd get curses cast upon them. _Not that he wasn't sorely tempted to do just that_ …

"Figured as much," Harry muttered, watching the door hitting the backside of the last of them on their way out. "C'mon, Meg. Umin," he quickly added on the end when it looked like Megumin was about to say something, cutting her off just before she got the chance. "Let's go call in our reward for slaying all those toads." Heading over to the desks, he beckoned for her to follow him. Megumin hesitated for a moment, with words hanging on the tip of her tongue, but decided to leave them unspoken; simply giving a nod, and rushing across to follow close behind.

"Ah, Harry Potter!" The tall buxom blonde receptionist, Luna, spotted him approaching her counter, waving at him and calling out to greet him. "I see you've returned- have you come back to pick up the information sheet for the starter quest you accepted? You left it behind earlier, but I've still got it ready for you, right here; just give me a moment…"

"Sure, whatever," Harry muttered sullenly, still pissed off at himself for having left it behind in the first place.

"Anyway, to further clarify things, the Quest is to defeat five Giant Toads in three days, so there really isn't any need to rush. And since you only registered in the afternoon, and didn't have the information sheet with you, let's just say that today doesn't count. Actually- you know what? The day you manage to defeat your first Giant Toad, let's say that it starts then. That'd be fairer, wouldn't it…?"

"Wait- you said five, right?" How many of those monsters had he taken down? The first two that he'd barbecued, the brown and the pink one, along with the other two ones he'd sliced open, the green one and that second pink one- that made four. And if he included the blue one which had popped up beside the road on their way back, the one which Megumin had done them a favor by blowing it to kingdom come, then that meant that… "No need. You can wrap it up with a nice red ribbon on top, 'cause we've already done it."

"You've- but- HOW? You didn't even have the information sheet!" Wide-eyed, Luna looked him over again. And again. Still the same as before, still lacking even the most basic of weapons, armour or equipment… "You mean that you've already gone out there on the plains, defeated five of them, and returned here already, in the space of only a few hours? Defeated all five of them, in such a short time, all on your own?"

 _Now, this is more like it_. "Well, not quite," Harry said, downplaying it, trying his best to keep his chest from puffing out too far. "Megumin here got the last one of 'em. But yeah, pretty much."

"Megumin?" Luna cocked her head, her oversized boobs jiggling around as she leaned to one side, peering around him to pick out the diminutive young witch standing behind him. "Oh, hello there, Megumin-san! So sorry for not greeting you properly earlier- please forgive my discourtesy! So, you're with them now- congratulations! But- Aqua-san isn't with you? Where is she?"

" _Pffft_. Probably where we left her, back at the baths. Still scrubbing away all that slime and gunk she picked up from the Toads, no doubt…"

"Really? But there's hardly any on two of you. Then, that means- Oh, of course. The strength of the Arch-Priest class really is unparalleled, isn't it? Leading from the front lines, bearing the brunt of it all by herself; Aqua must be exceptional…!"

Eh? Harry's face flatlined, the broad self-satisfied smirk wiped off his face in an instant. She thinks that- Aqua? AQUA…?! "What the FU- _nnngh_?!" Clenching his jaw shut, he just about managed to hold the outpouring of unmentionable expletives at bay, fighting to keep his sheer indignation back in check. "You're kidding," "Aqua? Her?! And as for 'all by herself'- HA! She didn't even DO anything- didn't even lift a finger! I swear, she's…"

"So she didn't even have to lift a finger? That's how easy, how effortless it was for her? I mean, I shouldn't be surprised, given how high her stats were, but still, that's AMAZING! Beyond amazing- a tale truly befitting the debut quest of one who'll surely go on to become a legendary hero…!"

" _Grrrrddammt_ …" Gritting his teeth, Harry growled under his breath, fiercely rubbing away at his forehead to try and soothe away his pent-up frustration, staving off the impending outburst of accidental magic he could feel building up. He had to accept it, let it go; it wasn't worth it. _It isn't. It isn't_ … Breathing out a heavy sigh, his head slumping in defeat, he held out his palm. "Just- hand over whatever we've earned, alright? Let's get this over with."

"If you could both be so kind as to let me look at your adventurers' cards, to provide confirmation- thank you…" Harry handed over his card, with Megumin pulling hers out from the buckle of her over-large belt and reaching around him to hand it over to Luna as well. Placing both of their cards into a strange, box-like magical device of some kind, Luna closed its lid, pressing a runic symbol engraved into its side. The device emitted a burst of slightly melodic, ethereal static, identical to the noise you'd get from an untuned Wizarding Wireless, for about a second, before going silent again; the runic symbol on the side glowing green for another few seconds before fading out. "All right, everything's in order. I've confirmed that your team has finished the quest of defeating five giant toads in three days- or, should I say, six hours. Stellar work!"

Luna popped the lid open again, plucked out their cards out and handing them back over to him; and that was that, all done. Taking a quick peep at Meg's before passing it on back to her, Harry noted that she was at level 6, so she was a fair bit higher than him. Or perhaps not so much- looking at his card again, he saw that he'd already risen from level 1 to level 4. One extra level for each of the frogs he'd defeated? _Guess it was worth it after all then_. And let's see, skills points- he didn't know how many he'd had before, but he had a hundred and thirteen now, which was probably pretty decent. _Wonder what I'll do with them all? And how does this even work?_

"Five thousand Eris for each frog, taking into account transport costs and fees, plus a bounty of one hundred thousand Eris for completing your Quest; that'll come up to a grand total of one hundred and twenty five thousand Eris. Congratulations! Though please do bear in mind that it may be subject to a partial rebate, dependent upon transport costs, and upon evaluation by our head chef…"

'GRRR.' OK, that growl definitely didn't come from his mouth. Still on edge, Harry span around to face it, half expecting to find a large dog snapping at his heels- only to find himself looking down at Megumin's belly instead. Visibly embarrassed, with her eyes and mouth wobbling as if she was fighting not to cry, Megumin crossed her arms over her stomach, buckling over and spinning around to turn her back on him. "Sorry. I haven't eaten anything for a day or two, so I'm a bit hungry."

A day or two? No wonder she'd been unsteady on her feet. Must be running on empty- and come to think of it, he was feeling a mite peckish as well. "Right then- first order of business, let's go get stuffed. What d'you want to eat?"

"-simply add it to your tab, to be repaid at your own pace, at an APR of only forty percent." Rounding off whatever she'd been talking about when his attention had been somewhere else- something about credit? _Which, somehow, Aqua had managed to steal entirely for herself without even being there_ \- Luna finished filling up a fairly large drawstring-purse with coins, pushing it over the counter to him. "Here you go, Mr Potter."

"Yeah, got it. Thanks." Giving Luna a half-hearted wave over his shoulder, Harry headed back across the guild towards the tavern, with Megumin in tow. Weighing up the heavy coin-purse in his hands, and pondering how to divide up their reward.

Meg definitely deserved her fair share, but Aqua? It wasn't like she'd defeated any of the Toads herself, or even done anything remotely useful or helpful when he'd been fighting for his life against them. He'd had to leap in to save her from being swallowed whole, not just once, but twice. She'd been nothing more than a hindrance, a liability. And she'd already hogged all the credit from the staff- tossing a quick glance back at Luna, she was chatting away with a couple of her colleagues now, with Aqua's name on all of their lips. Nope, there was absolutely no reason why she should get a single penny, a single eris, of what they'd put in the hard graft to earn. Wasn't like she was here to kick up a stink about it either; _if he didn't tell her, she'd never know. No problem_ …

With his mind made up, Harry pocketed the coin-purse. Or started to, at any rate- before stopping in mid-motion, pulling it back out again when he remembered that he'd already put something away in that pocket earlier. Something he didn't want to risk scratching, chipping or breaking by dumping a bunch of coins on top of it. Switching the coin-purse to his right hand, Harry reached into his left pocket, his resolve wavering as his fingers traced the familiar frames of his thick, high-index spectacles. Specs which he'd never need to use again, courtesy of the Goddess' miraculous healing abilities… _Oh, fine. Screw it._ He'd cut her in too, just for that. It wasn't like he didn't already have a huge stash of his own cash secreted away anyway. Hell, Aqua and Megumin could have half each- _least that way, Aqua could fritter away her own cash for a while, instead of continually pestering him for hand-outs._ Speaking of Aqua's 'sacred healing' ability though…

"You know, if you're injured, Aqua could heal you up, no problem. It's pretty much the only thing she's good for- Meg? Megumin?"

Megumin wasn't following him any more. She'd stopped in front of the notice board; standing there, staring up in silence at the 'Party Recruitment' section. Which had an empty patch now, marking the spot where that female adventurer's leaflet had been torn down from when they'd walked in. Harry backtracked to stand a few paces behind her; giving her some space, unsure of what to say. "Just- don't worry about those assholes, OK?"

"Oh, it isn't that. It's that- well, you see, I didn't come here to Axel on my own. I came here from the Crimson Mage village with another girl, Yunyun. She had an ad posted up here too, but I told her to rewrite it. She should have posted a new one by now though- yes, here it is… Oh, come on! Yunyun?!" Groaning, Megumin reached out to snatch a leaflet off the notice board, holding it out to him. "Seriously. Take a look at this."

Stepping in to take from her outstretched hand, instinctively starting to reach for his spectacles before reminding himself that he didn't need them any more, he read it through. ' _Recruiting party members. Hopefully, someone gentle, willing to patiently listen, who won't mind too much when the conversation stalls. Someone who wouldn't avoid me even if I visit on days with no quests, who's kind enough not to mock people with weird names, and who won't get angry even if our eyes do not meet. No restrictions on job and age, though someone close to my own age would be nice— I'm a 13-year-old Archmage. Thank you, and I look forward to meeting you soon_ _!'_

 _Wow. What a Hufflepuff_ … "Well, she seems nice. Really, well- friendly," Harry finished lamely.

"I know! What is this- a notice for recruiting a friend, boyfriend, or what?"

He hadn't wanted to come out and say it himself, but honestly, it _did_ read more like a personal ad than anything else. Though he had to admit that it was a pretty nice one. Even if she did come across as being a bit- let's say 'mild-mannered'.

"Honestly, she- hold it. Who is that strange man?!"

Looking absolutely livid, her red eyes starting to visibly glow even brighter than they had been earlier during that stand-off with that adventurer and her crew, Megumin stomped off towards the tavern. Making a beeline towards a table right in the far corner, where another girl about their age was sitting, wearing a long black cloak and robes similar to Megumin's. But with cherry-blossom pink in the place of Megumin's vermilion red, and with more accessories, including a pink tie. Though the ribbons tying back her black hair were red, the same as Meg's robes. And it was the same with the crimson colour of her eyes, identical to Megumin's.

Hers didn't look angry or resolute though; they looked shaken, conflicted. And with good reason… His eyes widening, Harry charged off after Megumin without a second thought, off to confront the mystery assailant looming over her, trying to drag her off with him.

"—N-No way! D-Do you think I'm a cheap girl who would blindly follow anyone!?" Yunyun proclaimed, trying to pull away from the squat, pudgy older man who was clinging onto her, refusing to let go.

"I didn't say that! I'm just begging you. Please. I'm not plotting anything! I just want to let my mother be at ease. Just pretend to be my lover for a while! My sick mother said she wanted to see her grandchild before she dies…! If not, at least her daughter-in-law… I can only beg this from my only friend, Yunyun…!"

"On-Only friend…?" Yunyun's eyes watered, placing a hand on her chest. "No, even so, pretending to be a lover is too—! I'm only 13 years old. I'm not even an adult yet!"

Seeing her troubled face, the man said, "No problem. Just a simple greeting will do! I don't intend to do anything, so there won't be any issue! No problem!"

"Really!? Wa-Wait a moment. Why are you trying so hard!? I should refuse…"

"Please! I beg you, I beg you. Just one date. If convenient, one hour. No, 30 minutes would do!" The man begged with a despairing voice, going down on one knee to adopt an over the top, Shakepearean romantic pose.

"No, this violates the original intent…! Isn't it pretending to be lovers before your sick mother!? Why is it a date now…?" Yunyun waved her hands around desperately, her cheeks flushing a deeper shade of pink than her tie, frantically looking around this way and that like she was trying to find a way out.

"I beg you. I beg you. I beg you!" The man wailed, kneeling before her on the tavern floor, prostrating himself on his hands and knees.

"Wait. Please wait. Wait a bit…" With an increasing number of people in the tavern turning to look and stare at the overly melodramatic scene the man was making, Yunyun froze up, fixed in their collective gazes like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Please. Please. Please! I beg you. Just for a bit. I'm begging you!"

Yunyun looked petrified. Curling up more and more, wilting under the heat of having so much attention focused upon her… "Ugh… Th-Then, just for… a while…"

"Really!?" The man jumped back to his feet again, with any trace of sorrow instantly evaporating from his face. Letting out a loud "eep!", Yunyun recoiled away from him, her chair toppling over backwards and pitching her onto the floor as he reached out to wrap his arms around her, with a broad leering grin stretching from ear to ear, a line of drool starting to trickle down from the corner of his mouth…

"Of course not!" Megumin exclaimed, barging across to block off the prostrate Yunyun from the assailant bearing down upon her, twirling her staff around like a baton before shoving it up in his face. "What are you up to, pervert!? Exploiting another person's kindness, trying to have your way with her!? Want me to call the authorities?"

"Wh-What are you saying!? Ah…" His eyes widening in recognition, the man backed away, raising his hands in the air. "OH, you are that crazy mage…! Wait, spare me. Not the police! I understand! I will leave obediently!"

"Oh no you don't!" Harry snarled, stepping in to block off the man's escape path, trapping him in the corner like a rat. And looking down at this guy, looking him over, far-too-fresh vivid memories of the night of his death flashed before his eyes, setting his blood aboil. This vermin, this piece of human filth- he looked, acted and sounded almost _exactly_ like Peter Pettigrew. The only real difference he could pick out was that this guy's nose, eyes and hair were different; but even then, those all looked like they'd been snatched off of Snape and slapped onto Pettigrew's face. Or worse- Snape's hair had been greasy, but it hadn't been this greasy. And his eyes might've been coal black like Snape's, but his were slanted, and even smaller than Pettigrew's. He looked older than Pettigrew too, definitely in his forties. Begging for mercy, pleading for forgiveness? _It won't save you. Not this time_ … "You're not getting past me, you filthy rat!"

"H-how dare you? YOU?" Fixing his beady, bloodshot eyes on Harry's, the squat little man bared his yellowed, uneven teeth, puffing out his pot-belly. "Don't you white knight me, you brat! You're trying to steal her for yourself, aren't you?! Looking to build a harem party, with your damnedly high charisma stats! You've collected the other one, so now you want MY Yunyun to complete your matching set? Well, too bad! I saw her first! She's mine, mine, MINE! And I'm not gonna let you snatch her from my grasp, you freaking alpha jock thunderco…!"

But the man suddenly stopped speaking abruptly, choking in the middle of his delusional rant. For a moment, it looked as though words had failed him, his disproportionately fat stomach swelling up with impotent rage. But the swelling didn't stop; his eyes bulging out of their sockets, his flabby face going all red, and started to expand, his mouth stretching out too tightly to speak… _Oh crap, it's happened again. Just like last year, with Aunt Marge- I tried to hold it in, tried not to let it out, but I couldn't control myself_ _…_ Groaning at the realization of what he'd just done, Harry scrunched his eyes closed for a few seconds, listening to the sound of all of his buttons popping off and pinging all over the place. Then, to the stunned silence which had fallen across the Guild, broken only by a faint stream of apoplectic bubble-blowing noises.

"Harry-san. Was this your doing?" Megumin said quietly, her expression unreadable. The other girl, Yunyun, was still down on the floor, staring up at him with starry, watery eyes. Harry just nodded, hanging his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. _Fuuuuck_ …

Screw it. It wasn't like there was a Ministry of Magic (was there?) in this world. There certainly wasn't any Statute of Secrecy to worry about. And it wasn't like he had a clue how to undo it anyway, or like this sick pedo bastard hadn't deserved it. So to hell with it. In for a Knut, in for a Galleon. Standing tall, Harry raised his head again, craning his neck to look up at the perv floating in mid-air just above, now completely round, inflated like an over-sized party punch-ball balloon. Flashing his teeth in a shark-like grin at that thought, and the idea that came into his head. "Hey, does anyone know how to play Volleyball? Heads up…!"

* * *

 _Hey again, and welcome back for another chapter! Sorry about the wait; things have been a bit hectic as of late, and I had a hard time hashing out this chapter; ended up breaking it up into two in the end, with the next part soon to come (fingers crossed). If you're wondering what's happened with a few of the words, Harry's brain might not have gone 'poof', but there are still a few words and terms which didn't translate well enough into English for him to understand, and which still got lost in translation. Hence a few words remaining Japanese; for instance, honorifics. Along with the translation which I've chosen to go with for the 'Shinku Mahou', calling them 'Crimson Mages' as opposed to 'Crimson Demons'; since they aren't anything like demons by Harry's understanding, and since proper demons and devils actually do exist as actual races in this world. And of course, Harry wouldn't have the foggiest idea as to what a 'loli' could possibly be, hence the misunderstanding there._ _I'm using book Harry rather than Radcliffe Harry; as such, even in spite of being three years younger than Kazama, Harry's already at least as tall as Kazama (5'5"), and possibly an inch or two taller; well on course to outgrow Darkness within the next year or two. As such, in spite of being less than a year older than Megumin, he still towers over her, since she's only 4'10". Though it is still possible that Megumin may gain another few inches, with proper nourishment. Not that she'll ever come close to catching up to Harry, with the height disparity between them only set to increase, given that he's set to end up being roughly 6'2" tall (only an inch or two shorter than the massive man with the mohawk)._

 _And now, we can warmly welcome Yunyun to the fray as well; who was also in the same place at the same time as she was in canon, going through the same ordeal with the same man. There, Megumin chased the dirty old man away, and he made his escape; Harry's far less desensitized to such things though, and given that he only died just over week ago in this timeline, trying to avert Pettigrew's escape to go resurrect Lord Voldemort back in his own Wizarding World, there was no way that Harry would've let the attempted child abductor make his clean get-away. Still pondering though- sure, the wild accusations that the old perv leveled at Harry may well be completely baseless and unfounded, but might they be mildly prophetic? Could the harem party outcome still be on the cards? Should it be? After all, Harry did meet the criteria on her recruitment letter/dating profile (with the possible exception of 'being gentle'). Being her knight in shining armor's already got Yunyun seeing stars in her eyes, and he'd be more than willing to offer her genuine friendship and companionship. Yunyun's attraction to Harry's a given (potentially adding another element to her declaration of Megumin as "her rival" in this fic- nudge-nudge-wink-wink); only question is whether Harry'd be attracted to her too, or whether he'd simply wind up friendzoning Yunyun instead, on account of her meek and timid personality. Keeping my options open for now- which outcome would you prefer?_

 _On a side note, here's something to ponder, until next time; if the cast of KonoSuba's main characters got sorted at Hogwarts, which houses would they have been sorted into? Yunyun's the easiest by far; epitomizing every single Hufflepuff trait, both positive and negative, Yunyun exemplifies dedication, selflessness and hard work, values fair play and loyalty, always does her best to help, and desires friendship, companionship and social acceptance above all else. She_ _ticks off pretty much every box for the quintessential, stereotypical Hufflepuff girl, and IMHO, she'd get sorted there the instant that the Sorting Hat touched her head._ _However, it's a fair bit hard to try and sort the other main characters. Megumin's extremely intelligent, which one might assume would make her a good fit for Ravenclaw, and she shares that same streak of obsessive eccentricity as Luna Lovegood, who's perhaps the most chuunibyou and most similar girl to Megumin at Hogwarts. But she also adamantly refuses to learn any magic besides Explosion, so her aversion to learning would almost certainly rule Ravenclaw out. It'd almost certainly be either Gryffindor or Slytherin for her, with a long hat-stall, and her final choice would depend upon how the Sorting Hat asked her; if it told her the same thing it told Harry, Megumin would choose Slytherin without hesitation. But on the other hand, she is a Crimson Demon, so she could well choose Gryffindor simply on account of her predilection towards its color scheme._

 _Aqua- no idea. Definitely no Ravenclaw, on account of her pitifully poor intelligence, but it's hard to say whether she'd fit into any of the other houses either. Not Hufflepuff, because she's incredibly egocentric, lazy and self-centred; not Gryffindor, because she's cowardly, hesitant and indecisive; maybe Slytherin, at a stretch, primarily on the basis of her purity and her sense of supremacy, but even there, she isn't really ambitious or driven. Darkness- probably a Gryffindor, but borderline possibility that she'd be a Slytherin instead (since her hidden motive for her valiant, selfless displays of bravery is actually her own masochistic sexual self-gratification, and she is a 'pure-blood' aristocrat). And back as an eleven year old, given how desperate she was for friendship and companionship as a child, just like Yunyun, she'd have probably been sorted into Hufflepuff. Even Kazama, though he's not relevant to this fan-fic; it'd be between Slytherin and Ravenclaw, but I wouldn't be sure which of the two to place him in. Which houses would you be included to sort the KonoSuba cast into?_


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